Snot like that at all.

The house is a total train wreck. The whole house is getting a new paint job and I miss coming home to a clean, dust free room. The painters are done with my bedroom so right now it looks brand spankin' new being repainted with hotpink, lime green, and the cabinets pale yellow. Right now it looks great, like those girl bedrooms you see in the magazines. The living room, dining room, and kitchen are now painted with yellows, oranges and browns and I get allery attacks almost every thirty minutes. (I don't take meds. I just endure the suffering.) The furnitures are all over the place and in the wrong places. It's annoying. Everyday painters and neighbors come in and out of the house to help out and it's been a while now that I can't have my privacy. I'm writing this using Glam (my laptop if you're not informed) ON THE DINING TABLE. It's insane. Last night I was crying about something and I didn't have a choice but try to keep quiet as much as possible and bawl in the bathroom as quiet as I can. Pathetic sight. What's even worse is that my mom gets ticked off that I don't help that much around here with moving the furniture and cleaning up or sorting stuff. I actually find that ironic because of all people, SHE KNOWS I HAVE OVERLY SENSITIVE SINUSES (which I inherited from HER by the way) and I could die from asphyxiation anytime my body can't take anymore. 

Zshalia using Len's laptop

This morning, the only clean room in this house was my bedroom. Fortunately (with the faintest hint of sarcasm), the window-screen people came over today so my mother threw the dusty curtains onto my BED with visible dust particles flying around. I couldn't do anything but just stand there and take in all the  disbelief. I realized that my mother couldn't care less if I die in my sleep with a shut airway. Anyway, the window-screen people invaded my bedroom and conveniently threw the things out of his way so he can install the screens with ease. Before I knew it, All the stuff that used to be on the floor and the built in wooden lounge (bags, suffed toys, etc) WERE LYING IN MY BED. All of it. I just changed the sheets two days ago for godsakes.

It's crazy house hell week and I could only imagine what the next one will be like. I guess the only consolation is that right now I'm really loving how my bedroom looks so I just try to endure the series of unfortunate events and prepare for the package of pending problems... including death in my sleep.

I can't wait for the paint job to be finished!

Pink in Progress

I'll be sleeping in my parents' room tonight which means no phone calls and no internet when it's lights out. It's not like I have a choice. The rest of the house is a train wreck. The other day I even saw the living room sofa out in the terrace and I ruled out the hunch that it wanted to sunbathe at noontime. The painters started painting my bedroom walls today so I have to relocate for a night or two. Although I have to admit, my sister and i are excited about this faboosh idea that my mom came up with.

Greens and yellows are next.

What a mess.

Len suggested that the family go window shopping tomorrow for house decorations. I'm sure it's going to be interesting. I hope no family drama goes down tomorrow though or else, no go. It's almost like a Sunday ritual--the drama, not the shopping.

Corny Cable

I loathe watching certain shows on local television. I mean those of dominating monopolizing channels only. K? When Channel 2 is on I can't turn it off or else my family would pummel me to pieces. My mom and my sister are almost addicted to ABS-CBN and I couldn't think of anything more ridiculous. But I have to admit that not all their shows are that bad, and actually I watch the news (which, would you believe, has crap in it; they like to call it "Star Patrol"). Tss.

And don't get me started on ASAP. What is the point of showcasing the same people, singing the same songs, and presenting the same dance routines each friggin Sunday of the month? I just don't get it. For all I know it's just a blown up show with performing fancy signature wardrobe and heavy make-up. I know showbusiness is still business and but why do people give a huge fuck about ASAP? At least Wowowee gives away cash. But why do I care right? The host is a pedophillic douchebag. Well as long as you're happy. Whatevs.

Bottomline: I hate what ABS-CBN has become. GMA? No comment. Yes, these networks have projects that help the less fortunate but at the end of the day it's all about the fame and who's better and who gets the higher ratings and who gets paid more. They can all just bring each other down for all I care because they're all pretty happy with themselves and their worlds solely revolve around being better than the other.

I'll let you know if I change my mind. :P

ps:

I had to revise my entry not because I want to please the readers who have violent reactions against my opinions but because I figured I would lay out the message more clearly if I did. I told you I'll let you know. ;P

The Pink Room

...is my room! And today I'm stuck here because the rest of the house is getting a new paint job. This room comes last. I think they'll be starting on it next week. The house is a mess so all I can do for now is download, watch movies, and enjoy halohalo. My sinuses are highly sensitive to allegens so I'm trying to keep myself away from the smell of paint as much as possible.

My sister Linlyn and I already picked out the colors we want for our room and I'm so excited to see the final results. It would still be pink but in a different shade and we also added a few contrasting colors to liven up the look. The last thing we want is to keep the dull monochromatic light pink and brown theme that we have right now. 

Time for a change!

RN, PNA member

I did it. I officially signed up as a member of the Philippine Nurses Association this afternoon. I traveled for hours, battled heavy traffic, dozed off in the afternoon heat and I all I got was a small neon pink card... which had my PNA NUMBER on it! Woohoo! 

I also registered myself officially as a bonafide NURSE this morning. I can finally get my true to life tangible license at the end of the month. How exciting!

At the end of the day, it was all worth it. It was perfect. <3 

It's me and my sister making a lousy attempt to act normal.

Totally unrelated, but fun. :)

Baby

I wonder when I can have my own cute little munchkin.

Babies are the reason why HAPPY was invented.

Shocker

I got my hair straightened today and it literally stinks. The stench won't come off until after a few days but I look better now so it's worth it. Moving on to completely unrelated news, Lady Gaga is one of most amazing pianists I have ever seen. And I thought feet were only for stepping on the pedals. Well that's Lady Gaga for ya, way beyond normal. Look up the video in YouTube. :)

Simple is Best

I've been trying to come up with a new design for my banner all day but after almost 12 hours of deep thinking I've decided to keep things plain and simple here. I figured that in the first place I made a blogger account because sometimes things are just too overrated in Multiply. I've noticed that Multiply is starting to overpopulate with shallow and personality challenged people who flood my inbox with 95% photo albums (yes, including those pesky online shop brochures that I very much loathe). The genuinely opinionated are becoming extinct, taking the days of genuine blogging with them. The copy-paste bloggers have won the battle of cyber selection (er, I made that up) and they are taking over Multiply, still growing in large numbers.

I like it here. Words dominate, not pictures nor friend count. I have to admit that I'm used to posting photos of myself in my blog entries, but that's only because sometimes a picture has utmost relevance to the topic and will give the reader a much deeper understanding of what I'm talking about. (The cheese sandwich pic below serves as a very serious example. XD)

Simple is best. White; plain as paper. That's the look I've decided to go for. All that thinking has amounted to the conclusion that I want my blogspot to represent the side of me that is reserved, poised, and intellectual. In reality I'm a lot of work but that's exactly why I chose to have a blog. It's basically an online journal. It's been proven in psychology that writing in some sort of diary is a healthy way to express our thoughts so they won't get crammed up. Vague and blurry memories can never beat out visual evidence that could give us an idea of what the past was like and help us to reflect with clarity. A blog serves exactly that purpose as we collect our experiences, filter the significant details of whatever issue it is that we're dealing with and then lay them out for world to see. Big news or small news, it doesn't matter. To me it's sort of reaching out both directly and indirectly to other people while doing ourselves a favor by gaining self-confidence while we subconsciously develop our social skills and learn all sorts of life's lessons. I love blogging. And I guess I could say that among all its benefits, I enjoy writing blog entries because it's a good stress reliever. 

I remember that time when I worked as a call center agent; my trainer always said that I tend to be too wordy and that it would be best if I simplified my scripts. She may be right, but being wordy is better than not having anything to say because that would only mean we have no ideas to begin with. And that wouldn't be anybody's fault but ours, would it? Nobody should ever dumb himself down just to conform.

...And I want a white puppy. But puppies demand high maintenance and I am high maintenance. All the forces of the universe will never allow such chaotic clash. :)

Fromage

Jeean has just developed an unusual fondness 

for cream cheese sandwiches.

Scary if you ask me. :P

Raining Happy

March 9th was amazing. It was amazing. He will always be amazing. I've missed him so much and today was the perfect opportunity to prove it. I've missed his laughter and his jokes, his funny faces and the relentless tickle frezy. But I guess the best part was just being with him--touching him and being touched, talking to him and being heard, and fooling around like we were the only people on earth. Funny how things could turn around 360 and I'm glad that they have. Even though the hardest part hasn't even started yet, I remain optimistic. Things are looking up. He still has faith in me and I will stay true to my promise. 

Period. :)

Something else

In accordance to the recently unpleasant circumstances that I'm still struggling against to keep myself from giving in to defeat, I realized that I needed to do something other than to ruminate about my love life. I thought the timing's just perfect for learning new piano pieces. Yesterday I was at my grandparents' house and they have this piano there. So I thought, maybe I could watch some tutorials because I have nothing better to do and this person doesn't want to talk to me. So I turned my laptop on, opened Youtube, watched a few tutorials while I wrote down the notes on paper and in forty minutes I was able to play IF I WERE A BOY. I want to be preoccupied in music again not only because somebody doesn't have time for me and doesn't care about what's happening to me, but also because I missed immersing myself in playing my favorite instrument. It makes me forget I'm hurt, and gives the pleasant result of me being nice. Diverting the attention that I used to give other people gives me a fraction of the peace of mind that I need now more than ever. It's just like nothing's wrong, I'm just fine and he can just be chipper. I know I'm lying to myself, but it's better than driving myself crazy over an issue which I know he doesn't think is a problem.

I've also started writing stories again. Last night I came up with something but it's far from finished. It has no blueprints, no certain sequence of events to follow whatsoever, and I don't even know what the whole point is. I have no idea what it's all about. I just type in there whatever pops into mind. I have only one note to self for this story: make it sad and tragic. Just like real life.

I think it's only fair that I cut myself some slack this time and pay attention to my demoralized ego. Yeah, I know, as if everbody else's is not. Can't we just kill each other off?

Kidding. The best way to heal is to get back on the horse.

Unknown

If I were a boy

I think I could understand

How it feels to love a girl

I swear I'd be a better man

I'd listen to her

'Cause I know how it hurts

When you lose the one you wanted

'Cause he's taking you for granted

And everything you had got destroyed

-

I'm not a fan of copy-paste blogs but I couldn't help it.

The timing is perfect.

Your wish

Don't worry.

It's like I'm not even here.

tainted, could be

What is wrong with me?! You know when you try to find out stuff about your guy and then you end up hating yourself for looking through his stuff because you read things that you wouldn't mind not knowing in the first place? Well as they all say "curiosity killed the cat," and I'm sure it won't come as a surprise to you that I'm the cat.

I have to set the record straight: ok I admit, so sometimes I'm being irrationally jealous. But that's only because I couldn't picture him with someone else (I can't even imagine him being a boyfriend to the capital X) and to tell you honestly, I still get jealous over issues that were long overdue. And what's worse is that the very few talk hours on the phone don't help at all. I'm still as jealous as I've ever been and I'm not happy about it although I'm sure he is too. In some aspects I'm being unfair (don't ask) but these jealous feelings are real and I'm afraid they might be leading me to the wrong direction and ruin our relationship.

My bitch fits are major. All of them. A little argument can go a very long way especially if I'm provoked. When I'm frustrated with something or when angry with someone, my temper is often at boiling point and I don't even know it, but I know that I have to control it before it's too late. Before he calls off the relationship. 

I don't want to be the bitchy girlfriend that I sometimes am. I trust him, but I can't seem to calm myself down whenever the SelfishSuperGirlfriend alter ego kicks in. I'm sorry for being like this. I may be the jealous type, but it's only because I love you too much and I'm trying to be the only best girlfriend in the world for you.

RecogNition

March 5th, year 2009. The day was scorching hot and the Arsenio Laurel Gymnasium was packed with nurses and nursing students, but it didn't stop the Lyceum of the Philippines University - Batangas College of Nursing from acknowledging their 617 former nursing students who are now REGISTERED NURSES. All board passers entered the gym in single file with the students and their former clinical instructors cheering them on at the sides. The familiar faces that used to be shy and awkward are now RNs who proudly entered the gym with wide smiles and high hopes. 

After welcoming the new RNs back to LPU, the main event took place -- handing out of certificates wherein each board passer's name was called on stage (with an addition of the letters RN at the end of each name) and each of those successful examinees received a Certificate of Recognition in front of colleagues, mentors, and 4th year nursing students. The college was also kind enough to distribute free snacks and drinks in the midle of the program. They also held a thanksgiving mass and a motorcade around the vicinity of the university before the program proper, which to everybody's delight, were eagerly supported by the university heads, College of Nursing instructors, nursing students, and of course the new RN's of LPU.

The College of Nursing was admittedly overwhelemed and overjoyed by the successful results of the November 29-30, 2008 Nurses Licensure Examination because they have produced 617 new nurses -- the highest number in the entire Region IV this season. And not only that -- in addition to this achievement, Mary Ann Garing bagged the position as 7th topnotcher among 88,649 examinees and was awarded a Medal of Excellence by Dean Cecilia Pring and the Level Coordinators. It has been 14 years since LPU had an NLE passer that claimed the position of topnotcher and Garing brought LPU back in the topnotch RN makers' list.

The program was enjoyed by all. Nursing students participated in intermission numbers and even clinical instructors and the dean had a dance showdown with their former students centerstage. Most importantly, the program served as a reunion for mentors and students, and it was the perfect day to share everybody's happiness and gratitude with each other. And even though it was a quite sad that some of their classmates and friends didn't pass the exam last November, the successful examinees still could not explain the pride of making it past that hurdle and being recognized and appreciated by the college that taught them all they know to get this far.

Congratulations, nurses! May we all have successful careers ahead of us!

immeasureable degree of sadness

Viewing your pictures just isn't the same as being wrapped in your arms. I am missing you very badly, and there's no cure for it... not until we're together again. I need to feel your presence.

I'm slowly... but surely... becoming... depressed.

Masterpiece

My youngest sister Zshalia made this fantastic work of art 

using MS Paint on Glam.

She said she wanted to make a picture of a garden using only squares 

and only few extra shapes.

Genius! :D

eighteen before eight

eighteen simple things i want to accomplish before i turn 22:

(october 8th of year 09)

1. G-mask pampering for Glam

2. go to the beach

3. at least one trip to the hair salon (cut and straighten)

4. purchase my own broadband connection device for Glam

5. beat all the big monsters in 3 star quests of monster hunter portable 2nd g

6. buy at least 15 more novels

7. install a SIMS 2 game compatible with Vista Home Premium

8. *get this one thing done that i should have done a long time ago*

9. work in a private hospital

10. open a new BDO account

11. be a certified IV therapist

12. buy a pair of functional heels

13. finish a venti caramel frapp without having elimination problems (blush)

14. get a Henna tattoo (on the chest or behind the ear, whichever)

15. buy myself a new bathing suit (one piece, for old times' sake)

16. drown myself in booze til i pass out

17. buy new contact lenses (maybe i'll go for blue this time..?)

18. witness an actual shooting star

this list is incomplete and is not necessarily in my urgent agenda,

but it would be really nice if i get them all. :)

ps cs3

My baby Glam finally has Adobe Photoshop cs3! 

Niiiiice.

zits and drama

I'm having acne problems and the pimples are destroying my face and my self esteem. I can't even hide the pimples and the chickenpox scars with makeup anymore.I miss having really clear skin but that was way back in high school. When i stepped into college the zits started turning up and they won't lie low ever since. and now, i don't know what to do. it's not vanity. It's an issue of health. I don't know if this is hormonal or something, but i don't like what's happening to my sytem.

As i'm typing this, it's around 2 o'clock in the morning and i still can't sleep. I'm exhausted from the whole day of activities really, but thinking about one person too much and thinking about him before going to sleep really deprives you of much needed snoozefest.

And btw, my mom and my sister got into a huge fight tonight. it even involved me and my grandparents. drama, drama, drama.

jellyjaw

YUMMERS!

this day has been great.

i'm so in LOVE.