Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Today I feel like a clumsy elephant. Enormous and all over the place.
That was my last tweet before I started typing this blog entry. After a cool refreshing bath this morning I put on a very loose fitting shirt, gray leggings and white flip flops coz didn't really feel like dressing up today.
By noon I was feeling like a large mammal escaped from the zoo. Say, a hippo.
When Jai and I got home I quickly changed into a long body hugging shirt, my maternity jean shorts and white gladiator sandals. Looking at myself I released a sigh of relief and felt much better. I felt like my old self again, style conscious and kikay.
I'm not picky when it comes to my clothes. I don't even like buying signature/branded ones. I appreciate those kind of gifts but buying them myself? No thanks. I buy and wear anything that suits me right, whatever the price.
My relatives say I shouldn't be wearing body fit tops but in my opinion it's the perfect way to express how proud I am of my baby bump and my new womanly curves! Relatives and friends have been giving me hand-me-down maternity clothing and don't get me wrong, I appreciate the gesture and I like wearing them, but sometimes I just wanna embrace my pregnant figure and just let my round belly show.
Now that's more like it!
20-21 weeks AOG, 09.30.09
I have my lazy days when I don't wanna wear any make-up and just put on anything I could grab from my closet, but once I see the melasma stricken face with a hippo's body in the mirror I make a U-turn and run back to the closet. The last thing I want to overhear is, "Ano ba yan, nabuntis lang, nalosyang na." I think pregnant women should always look their best no matter what occasion. We should be looking like we're carrying a human being in our womb ladies, not a blood sucking parasite!
I'm just not sure if all this could be applicable to the extremely difficult last weeks of the third trimester. Lol
I'm currently 20-21 weeks preggers and things are slowing down a bit. The growth of the baby is at a slower but sure-as-ever pace and my tummy isn't dramatically changing much in size lately. So what's new? The dreaded stretch marks have arrived and so has the melasma. Those two aren't really a pleasant tandem but nature has its special way of mocking pregnant women so they come around the same time. Most pregnant women love having this rather unpleasant change in complexion as they think it's the "pregnancy badge". However, I think after 9 months of carrying this wonderchild a destroyed hooha is enough of a badge to signify motherhood, thank you!
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Happy birthday to my one and only hottie hubby Jai!
September 26, 2009 marks my Love's 29th birthday. We didn't get to celebrate with a bang last year so this year I promised myself that it's gonna be different. I came up with an idea that I've NEVER EVER done for anyone I know...
A surprise birthday party!
I thought about this two weeks before his actual birthday, but because Jai and I and his family were scheduled to go somewhere important on the 26th, I was forced to move the surprise to the 27th. I was supposed to let his family in on the plan but surely we can't celebrate at home so the only way it could work was asking my mom and the rest of my family for help. To cut the story short, we held this surprise party at my maternal grandparents' house. The moment we stepped inside my whole Maranan family sang him a birthday song and by the look on Jai's face anyone can tell he was completely clueless about the whole thing. Surprise surprise! Mission accomplished.
By the way, A BIG THANKS to my mom and the rest of my family. I really love each and every one of you! Thank you!
I could only come up with a simple celebration--cake, food, and drinks. But I really hope I made him happy today... and I hope he feels how much I love him. ♥
Friday, September 25, 2009
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
I wanna come back to work. You know, the real thing. I'm just now sure when, where, and HOW. I don't wanna be stuck at home all the time but because I'm very preggers it's an absolute no-no. I want to be more productive and try something else while my husband and I have this initial business at the side. But the back pains are getting worse and my sleeping patterns are whack. I don't think my pregnant body can handle real work outside the house just yet. We're thankful we have this ongoing home based business that we keep running with the help of his family and we're trying to make it prosper to save up for our future. All things start small and we're in no hurry. That's just the way money comes and goes, right? But reality bites--having a baby changes everything. Food and milk, clothing and diapers, medicine and vitamins, cribs and strollers and toys, routine check-ups and immunizations--all of this will follow through once the baby arrives and they won't stop. The needs will only multiply and as the child grows they will level up like an RPG character and then eats itself.
Yesterday I had my 4th prenatal checkup and to our disappointment, we're still clueless of the baby's sex. The ultrasound technician had a hunch but we're not convinced. The baby's umbilical cord was covering most of its much anticipated package so there's no confirmation in that. BUT, we are very happy that the baby seems to be in good shape and the vitals are normal. It's amazing to see another heart inside my body--a little heart beating twice as fast as mine. Baby has grown a LOT since the last time we saw him/her. The limbs are longer and the digits are more defined and it's just so adorable to watch this budding life crammed in my tummy squirming inside. Jai was taping the whole thing and it was funny to watch the video after the checkup. Turns out that at some very important parts he was too busy watching his kid that he forgot to aim the camera at the baby and not the machine. Lol
Saturday, September 19, 2009
I think about the pain and suffering of going through labor and delivery almost every second of every day. I know the baby's not due until the last week of February next year and that worrying is useless, distressful, never good for any pregnant woman (or anybody), but I can't help myself from being such a worry wart. All this information about the up and coming inevitable birth of my child is bothering me more and more.
I see my OBGYN once a month so it's kinda hard to deal with all the changes and the emotions that I'm going through. As a first time preggo it's also my first time to experience everything. Being a registered nurse just seems to be useless when it's myself who's pregnant and needy.
Ever since I saw those two red lines on the pregnancy test which screamed out the BIG FAT POSITIVE I've always paid extra attention to my body and I try to find out the answers to all my questions as efficiently as I could. Thankfully I got a lot of resources. I have a cousin who's very close to me (a mom of one and carrying baby #2) and she's sort of become my preggy mommy dictionary. I could also ask my mom and my mom-in-law all sorts of questions but come on--they haven't been pregnant for more than 10 years. I've also signed up at an online mommy forum and it's been a habit to bookmark countless websites for pregnancy and motherhood just to get as much information as I can to keep me from going nuts. But as they say, too much is never a good thing, and that's exactly what's happening here. INFORMATION OVERLOAD. It's all very confusing. Not everything I learn is precisely what's going on with my own body. My mom always tells me I should talk to my doctor about all my concerns but then we're back to square one: I only see her ONCE a month and to me all my worries just can't fit into one appointment. I'm not exactly the only patient in her clinic.
So yeah, I'm scared. I'm scared for myself and for my child. I'm scared it would hurt too much that I can't handle the pain.. And just like House, I'm not exactly big on pain. I'm scared of not being a good mom while my baby's still inside, innocent and angelic. I'm unsure about a lot of things and I have this fear of posing a threat to my baby's health and development. Sure, I take my vitamins, I eat the right stuff, I drink a lot, I walk around, I bathe everyday and all that hygienic blah, I pray novenas and attend Holy Mass, but still, I worry.
I'm having my next prenatal checkup next Tuesday, September 22, just a few days before my husband's birthday. We're still very excited to find out the baby's sex, but this time, I mean VERY. Love said it would be such an awesome birthday gift, and I agree with him, and swore to myself that I'm not leaving the clinic until we find out. I'm 20 weeks pregnant by then; just the right time to start finding out baby's package.
I just want to be a good mom. I just want a happy, brilliant, bouncy, healthy baby.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
"Still up. Can't sleep. Baby Lanting is on hyper mode 2nyt! Mama can't get some rest.."
That was my last tweet before I tossed and turned in bed and bawled like a baby from the nagging backache I had last night, not to mention my wonderchild doing a breakdance in utero. I felt so exhausted and I just wanted to get some rest but the baby and the pregnancy itself just wouldn't let me doze off at 2:30 in the morning. I was going gaga for hours. I felt so uncomfortable, like there's not a single position that would let me relax.
When I couldn't take it anymore, I asked my husband for some help... Cried for help, rather. At first he was unsure how to handle it, but his hands worked like a charm anyway. He kept me from going totally crazy with his soothing back massage while he locked me in his loving embrace.
Hubbies, take good care of your preggy wives. They need you now more than ever!
Monday, September 14, 2009
I had a really bad night last night and what better way to get rid of the blues than by toastin' in the oven? Here's a yummy snack recipe I'll be sharing with you. It's very simple to prepare too. All you need are these:
- oven toaster
- bread (I prefer bread loaves)
- margarine or butter (I use margarine)
- sugar (White sugar does the trick for me)
Just spread the margarine on the bread evenly and then on top of that spread the sugar. Toast it in the oven for about 5-10 minutes or depending how taosty and melty you want it to be. And voila! Instant yummy snacks.
Thursday, September 10, 2009
As you all know I've stopped working as a nurse while I'm pregnant with my superwonderbaby. That means sometimes days pass without anything to do but stay home.
Then Facebook comes and saves the day!
Farm Ville, Farm Town, Barn Buddy--I play all three farming applications! I never thought it would be fun to tend virtual vegetation and livestock. And what's especially nice about it is being surprised to find out who sends you gifts and discovering your friends' farm design skills. Hearing friends' frustrations in real life whenever they fail to harvest is just as precious too. Laughs.
I'm still trying to talk my mom into playing a farming application but as of now she's still hesitant and tells me she has no idea how. But I get she's quite intrigued about it and only needs a little push to start. She's quite amazed at the hype of these games--she told me even the bank tellers at BDO were talking about Farm Ville on duty.
Speaking of Farm Ville, I think I like it best. It's quite easy to learn the ropes; not as complicated as the others. And I have to admit, I enjoy the background music. My husband and I even sing to it. He composed the lyrics. Laughs again. :))
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Since I got engaged and married I haven't been able to attend the Holy Mass on Sundays. It's always been a family tradition and not attending should have a major valid reason. But even though I've had some major life changes, now I'm trying my best to make room and go back to my religious roots and keep my values alive. I've been raised by two wonderful and religious parents who taught me good morals and almost everything about God, even the stuff they don't teach you in school. Ironically, I'm not an overly religious person. I believe there is a God, but I don't condemn others for not believing in Him. We all have our reasons for the kind of faith that we have.
This might seem like an unusual topic for me to discuss but this entry is on quite a religious note because this afternoon I started my novena for Our Lady of Perpetual Help. When I was in grade school, my sister and I tagged along with our Mom to attend this novena on Wednesdays at 4:30pm. My mom was carrying my now 10 year old sister in her womb back then. Well now that I'm pregnant I decided to follow my mom's footsteps and attend this novena. That was ten years ago when I first attended and it actually surprises that I still remember how the songs and how everything goes.
I attended the whole thing alone. I sent my husband off to a DVD hunt because I knew he would only get bored in there. He's a very wonderful guy, a very good man, but he's not a very religious person so I cut him some slack and let him kill time in DVD world.
My faith was obviously tested while I was there. This old lady who was dressed like a man drove me crazy with her mannerisms and I also felt shooting pains in my abdomen. It felt like there was a fireworks display in my tummy. Then I thought, maybe it was the baby. Maybe he/she knows that what I'm doing is for him/her and the only way to say thanks was by kicking me from the inside like crazy.
After it was over I had some quiet time to myself while I was waiting for Jai to come back and pick me up. I just sat in the pew and reflected. I felt peace and assurance that everything will be ok. I felt calm knowing that someone out there is listening and that prayers will be answered, one way or another. It just had this overwhelming feeling of being very blessed. And for that, I'm very thankful.
8 more Wednesdays to go. :)