tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-46160073758764024902024-03-13T22:53:01.515+08:00Foxy Mama The journal of my journey as a wife and mom.JeeanFoxyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02949901172629695062noreply@blogger.comBlogger256125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4616007375876402490.post-12648472697212353032017-08-28T20:35:00.002+08:002017-08-28T20:35:41.000+08:00A Year AfterI can't believe it has been a year since I updated my blog. I wish I could have written more, but life happened.<br />
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I am sitting in my bed right now, in a house I now call home, with my husband playing his PC game, my daughter lying in bed reading, and my baby boy sleeping.<br />
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It's a bad day, definitely one of the worsts, but I am still lucky to have these wonderful human beings in my life by my side, on this very day and for the past month.<br />
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And because my children are growing too fast, and my husband and I aren't getting any younger, I don't want to forget... I'd like to share more from this day forward. I owe it to my children that they can look back and know how things were for us. Maybe I won't write not long, coherent posts, but more of snippets - shower thoughts, the like. If there's anything I learned from today, our lives can change just like that and it's out of our control.<br />
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I hope a year after today it's a better day.<br />
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JeeanFoxyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02949901172629695062noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4616007375876402490.post-23665378449408796582016-08-08T13:29:00.002+08:002017-09-18T01:19:37.799+08:00Observations of a Co-Parent<div style="text-align: justify;">
My eldest is in school and she's not coming home until around 3PM, my son is still asleep, my husband in having lunch while I watch my baby sleep, and what do I do? I flip my netbook open and read about baby poop.</div>
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I was just reading this blog post about how motherhood could totally eradicate your social skills and a life outside the four walls of your house. I think truer words have never been said, but with that new lifestyle also comes new opportunities to socialize and venture into new things. Sometimes, maybe it's just on us?</div>
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Here's what I mean. I pick up my child everyday from school and every day that I do, I have to wait for her outside the gates just like all the other moms. And I just sit there, browsing on my phone, Facebook-messaging my sister, the sort. And then I think about my mom who used to do the same exact thing when I was a kid but she talked to other moms and even made friends with them. Me? I keep to myself and patiently wait for my child to turn up in the corner.</div>
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I guess I just might be more introverted than I thought. I could sometimes be indifferent and I don't necessarily feel the urge to talk to other people to make friends. I can make new acquaintances but I don't feel like I should get in their face and become BFFs. I like my silence. But I don't necessarily call myself a loner because when I'm with family I just can't shut my mouth.</div>
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So I would sit at the school gates and wait and wait and wait, and I would overhear all sorts of conversations about their kids, where they live, homework, and frankly I don't care unless I'm actively involved in the conversation. I certainly got my allergies from my mother's side of the family, but definitely not their social prowess.</div>
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Best way to describe it would be sitting at the bleachers watching a game without really have a care what the game was because it's a game called <i>gossip.</i></div>
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Aside from this blog and talking to family and closest friends, I just really keep to myself. I'm not a big fan of nonsensical chatter, and these mommy-cliques at school are the ultimate breeding ground for rumors. First of all, I don't exactly know these people and I know the only thing we have in common is that we're moms and our kids go to the same school. Other than that, I'm fine with just saying hi and hello and we'll be on our merry way.</div>
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What I think I'm missing out on though, if anything, is networking. It's a free networking stint. Especially if you're in the direct selling business, like face-to-face, being chummy with these other moms is a gold mine. There's definitely opportunity there and I realize it's something I know I have to adjust to sooner or later, even if I don't necessarily want to or need to. Actually, my family is in the sales business and it definitely wouldn't hurt to try. I hope my mostly-keeping-to-myself self could eventually adjust though.</div>
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But until that happens, I'll be sitting quietly in the bleachers, minding my own business.</div>
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JeeanFoxyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02949901172629695062noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4616007375876402490.post-58808501631531294432016-07-31T10:22:00.000+08:002016-07-31T10:22:24.712+08:00Booby BusinessBefore I had my first baby I was decided on breastfeeding her for as long as I could. I have a Nursing degree and I know the benefits of breastfeeding and I thought, “how hard can it be?” To me it would just be a matter of offering a boob and bonding with your baby as he feeds.<br />
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But when I gave birth to my daughter I realized I made a huge mistake of thinking it was a piece of cake. She just wouldn’t latch on for long and sometimes she just wouldn’t latch on at all. So to keep my daughter fed I had no choice but to feed her milk formula. It was the only way she would thrive.<br />
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Now, the formula vs breastfeeding debate has been going on forever and I wanted to write about this because for baby number 2, my son, I’m exclusively breastfeeding him and whenever people compliment me about how I’m breastfeeding exclusively, I should be happy but I also feel sort of uncomfortable.<br />
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To be perfectly honest, I feel like I’m being indirectly responsible for shaming moms who don’t, can’t, couldn’t, won’t breastfeed whenever other people think I’m a saint for doing it. I’ve been on both sides and I completely understand the pros and cons of each. Nothing is 100% perfect, no one is perfect, no matter who you are or how you feed your baby.<br />
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Right now I’m comfortable with this set-up of exclusively breastfeeding (EBF) and in fact there’s a half-empty can of milk formula somewhere in this house because it came to the point that my son didn’t want to drink from bottles anymore. So why is there milk formula in the house, you ask? My son started on formula because he stayed in the hospital nursery right after he was born, and because I had him via C-section it was impossible for me to breastfeeding on the clock. He eventually weaned off the bottle until he just exclusively wanted the boob. So if you reading this is an expecting mom, please know that it’s never an easy thing to start and everyone who wants to go the EBF route starts their journey differently. Do not be ashamed.<br />
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I wasn’t a breastfed baby, neither of me and my sisters were, because my mom had inverted tatas and didn’t have enough milk. At least that’s what she said. But I didn't judge her for it, and no one should. I turned out fine and dandy. Anyway, because she didn't have much experience on the matter, everything that I learned about breastfeeding was either from school or the internet.<br />
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Going back to subject of being complimented on because my son was on EBF, I wonder if they would have praised me too if I said he was mixed (BF and FF) or if he was exclusively FF (formula-fed). I want you to know that I had to suffer before I got here.<br />
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I used to hear stories of other moms who say they almost feel like being bitten by teeth during breastfeeding, having fever, rock hard boobs, mastitis, etc. I thought it was all overreaction until I experienced it myself. For many weeks I used to cry and scream in my pillows whenever he would drink out of the right boob (I don’t know why just on the right), but even on the left it was painful although more tolerable. That, on top of the C-section pain in my abdomen, was hell on earth.<br />
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But it’s just one of those things about being a mom. All the pain is worth it for your children and the pain just becomes negligible before you even know it until it disappears altogether. After a couple of months, the pain during nursing sessions disappeared, I’ve learned his hunger and satiety cues, I learned which boob is full enough to feed with (gentle pats and jiggles required lol), I learned when he’s not getting enough milk (greenish, liquid poop) which means he’s not being fed long enough, I learned when he’s getting enough milk (rich yellow thick poop), I learned that EBF babies don’t necessarily poop daily, I learned that what I eat has an effect on mine and the baby’s BM, I learned that I absolutely hate pumping and I still avoid it (unli-latch is the way!), I learned which nursing positions are best for me and baby, and so many other things that I keep learning as we go along. You can read all the books and articles there is about breastfeeding but to be honest it still all depends on what works for you and your baby.<br />
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The bottom line is: be proud of how you are feeding your baby as long as you are feeding your baby. Formula or breastmilk doesn’t matter. I’m not one of those extremists. All I know is, that, and your love and care, are enough. So good job, momma!<br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
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JeeanFoxyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02949901172629695062noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4616007375876402490.post-85184806687909605722016-07-25T12:18:00.004+08:002016-07-25T12:18:55.162+08:00Chronicling a Crazy Sick WeekCurrently my kids and I are unwell. Basically I'm writing this all down for the purpose of note-taking, and because I need somewhere to vent that it's been a crazy craaaaazy 3 months+ and the past few weeks have definitely been the most challenging.<br />
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July 15 - Iaine was taken to her pedia for a checkup due a cold and cough that was already 1 week+. Meds prescribed. No blood tests done.<br />
July 19 - Iajin was taken to the hospital to have CBC done. Low hemoglobin level determined.<br />
July 21 - Iaine still had a cough. No colds for days now. I also started to cough.<br />
July 22 - Iaine's colds have returned.<br />
July 23 - Iajin was taken to SPHMC for blood transfusion. My cough is definitely worse.<br />
July 24 - Iajin was discharged from the hospital less than 24 hours after admission. BT happened at around 12 midnight. Felt he was feverish at night, it was. 37.7C. Iaine's cough is back to its bad state and colds have definitely returned. I got a full-blown cough now with phlegm.<br />
July 25 - 3am. I awoke to a feverish Iajin with a temperature of 38.1. Iaine is currently at the doctor's clinic for a follow-up check-up because of persistent cough and colds. As of 12 noon, Iajin's fever has disappeared and temp is down to 36.3. Also, I don't have a voice and Iajin has started to cough...<br />
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These are trying times and I'm praying for our fast recovery. Uggggghhhh.</div>
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JeeanFoxyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02949901172629695062noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4616007375876402490.post-39768224686966614372016-07-12T22:20:00.001+08:002016-07-12T22:20:33.226+08:00DustAs the dust settles<br />
the glass spills<br />
flooding everything in its way<br />
inch by inch you go farther<br />
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No longer in our reach<br />
leaves falling to the ground<br />
no longer there is green<br />
but a void<br />
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The life that you shared<br />
etched eternally in ours<br />
memories left in the wake of your wave<br />
crashing down on our thirst and longing<br />
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As the stars in the night<br />
your memories stay<br />
in the darkness of our grief<br />
your love lives on forever<br />
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JeeanFoxyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02949901172629695062noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4616007375876402490.post-53849601716763770602016-07-12T20:46:00.000+08:002016-07-12T20:46:05.504+08:00Positivity<div style="text-align: justify;">
I was supposed to start a post about a totally different topic, but as soon as my Blogger dashboard loaded I immediately saw a new post from one of the other mommy bloggers I've been following since 7 years ago. It's again another rant about how fed up she is with her kids and other negative shit. And sadly it's made me realize how she heavily influenced my posts way back during my first pregnancy. She's always talking about how shitty her pregnancy is and all the other disadvantages that she could think of. I'm not sure if this is her gimmick, if she does this to separate her 'brand' from all other mommy blogs, or just to come up with controversial material for her book... But if you're a new mom, if you're expecting, my two cents is steer away from these types of material. Pregnancy and motherhood is hard but to me, growing your child and raising your child shouldn't be put in such a bad light. You created <i>them</i>. No sense is taking whatever your frustrations are on them. I'm not saying that mommy blogs should just sugarcoat inconveniences but making it a habit and spreading the bad vibes just isn't right.</div>
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If you're pregnant right now, please don't let the aches and pains, whatever negative emotion you may have, make you not enjoy the fact that you're growing your child inside of you. If you're a new mom who's looking for advice, there's no book on perfect parenting so making mistakes is something to be expected, no matter how hard we try to do everything right. If you're already a second-time mom or have been a mom for many years already, your honesty and support for other moms would be a huge deal. Keep spreading words of encouragement, and moms, please pay it forward. We all have our struggles and sometimes we just need to hear that it's going to be okay.</div>
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Sending positive vibes your way, Mommy. It's not easy, but it's going to be okay.</div>
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JeeanFoxyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02949901172629695062noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4616007375876402490.post-58752740963616108792016-07-09T15:19:00.000+08:002016-07-09T15:19:28.905+08:00Love is Not Anyone Else's Business to Measure<div style="text-align: justify;">
It's only a matter of time before we take my grandfather to his final resting place. Every morning I wake up dreading for that day to come, and now it's only a couple of days away. My mom asked me to say a thanksgiving prayer but I don't know how I'll be able to start one.</div>
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I am trying to spend as much time as I can at his wake, just like when he was in the hospital, when I was trying my best to see him as often as I could. Now he's gone, and the least I could do is spend time with him in the last days with us. This is something that not all people understand. The connection I have with my grandfather isn't just an ordinary grandpa-granddaughter relationship to me. He was another father figure. He was someone I wanted to live forever. Losing my grandfather hurts, but sadly like I said, not all people understand that in these last moments, I want to spend as much time as I could with him, watch him in the deepest slumber. I talk to family about our memories with him, we comfort each other's grief, we receive consolation in the recalling the memories he has left behind... We want to ignite his legacy.</div>
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But like I said, sadly and disappointingly, not all people understand. Family is family. Love for family is love. That's it. And it's not anyone else's business to measure.</div>
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JeeanFoxyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02949901172629695062noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4616007375876402490.post-66845104708267955192016-07-08T19:46:00.003+08:002016-07-08T19:47:16.991+08:00And Don't Let Anyone Tell You Otherwise<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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JeeanFoxyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02949901172629695062noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4616007375876402490.post-15470608268963542952016-07-06T13:09:00.003+08:002016-07-06T13:13:45.211+08:00Lolo VictorThis is about my grandfather.<br />
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There are no right words to properly express how I feel right now. There is a void and it's something that nothing can remedy.<br />
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I'm the eldest grandchild among 15 grandchildren, 18 if you count the great-grandchildren. A brief background about my childhood... My mom came from humble beginnings. Their livelihood was fishing and selling these fish in the wet market. My grandfather would fish and then my grandmother would sell them. Their children already finished college but they still kept working for some time. They lived in a concrete 2-storey home somewhere by the river outside the city proper which wasn’t always concrete. You would have to cross a bridge to get to their island, or I think it was. I can't count how many times we've crossed that bridge. It used to be made of wood and bamboo, but every time a storm passed it would collapse and there were times when I would need to ride a boat to get from one side to another. Now it's made of concrete and it has withstood the storms. Crossing that bridge meant I was going to see my grandparents which was a weekly tradition when I was younger. We were always excited to see them for two things: they had a small sari-sari (variety/grocery) store where they sold snacks, drinks, medicine, cigarettes, school, supplies, etc., and it was a place for the whole clan to bond. As children we always got free treats from their store and as kids we were so happy that there was this place where we could ask for whatever we want -- chips, chocolate, soft drinks, pens and papers to draw with. But as time passed and we got older, that's when we realized that we were taking their livelihood away from them. We stopped getting treats but my grandparents still generously offered some.<br />
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Looking back, I don’t remember if I slept next to my grandfather whenever we stayed over but I do remember always seeing my grandmother say a morning prayer as soon as she wakes up. Some of the memories I have of me and my grandfather in that place that stand out to me were:<br />
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· He taught me how to drink creamed coffee when he let me take a sip from his cup<br />
· He would always make me a hula-hoop or some other type of play thing made of some type of wood (maybe from bamboo shoot?) whenever I watched him build an improvised fishing net made of the same type of wood<br />
· I remember him laying out <i>kamias </i>to dry them out under the sun<br />
· We would sift through rice to pick out the little rocks<br />
· He would give me treats from his store<br />
· He would make me coffee <i>pangsabaw sa kanin</i><br />
· He used pray with other Couples for Christ members in their home<br />
· He would sit alone and wait for customers in their <i>sari-sari</i> store<br />
· He would always ask me if I was on the honor roll at school<br />
· He would tell stories… like when he was a child during the Japanese invasion and he would hide underground with his mother<br />
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But the dearest memory I have of him in that old house was a time when we were sleeping next to each other on a <i>banig </i>(mat) on the floor, or rather, I was just watching him sleep and I was watching him breathe. I put my hand on his big tummy and I was in awe, realizing for the first time that adults take longer breaths than kids.<br />
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How I wish to see him breathing again…<br />
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More than a decade ago there were talks about the 'island' being reclaimed by the government so my grandparents’ children decided that it was for the best that they move into the city. They built my grandparents a new, bigger home in a nice subdivision. They had to leave their sari-sari store together with their old home and put it up for rent.<br />
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The weekly tradition of visiting them moved to a new venue but years passed. I grew older, he and my grandmother grew older. Their children and grandchildren grew older, life happened. We were engrossed in growing up while they were growing old. Complete attendance during those Sundays became rare, until the tradition wasn’t weekly anymore. There were times when no one would visit them on a Sunday.<br />
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But I realized our mistake and we were all accountable for that. So as much as I could, later in his life, I wanted to see him as often as I can. I lost my paternal grandfather already and there were just so many regrets that I don’t want to happen again. I tried to make my maternal grandfather feel loved in the last years of his life. He would say he missed my kids and my sister’s son, so I tried my best to make time for us to see him. His face would always light up whenever we arrive.<br />
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How I wish to see his face light up again…<br />
<br />
In their new home we made more memories together. One of them was when I asked him to pick up a kitten for me who was crying in the middle of the street in the rain. I don’t know why I didn’t pick it up myself, but I had to ask my grandfather to do it. He and my grandmother celebrated many birthdays in that house. We made it a happy new home for them over the years.<br />
<br />
He was the patriarch; he was everybody’s rock. He built his legacy and our family’s legacy from the ground up. My mother would tell stories about how hard he worked at the time when he still had strength working as a fisherman.<br />
<br />
But as he got old he has lost his strength because his lungs have gone bad in the later years of his life. He used to be a chain smoker and it took a toll on his body in his old age. He has been in and out of the hospital since I can’t even remember when, and on July 3rd, past 1am, he breathed his last breath.<br />
<br />
Before that unfortunate day, every time my grandfather was taken to the hospital because of his breathing problems (he has COPD) he would eventually recover one way or another. He would regain his strength and come back fighting. He would be back to normal like nothing happened. We would again visit him at home on weekends, I would see him watch movies on TV, play with my daughter, we would eat <i>merienda</i>, etc. But the next time we visit his home he would no longer be there and this is one of the hardest realities that’s hitting me hard.<br />
<br />
My grandfather was admitted in the ICU of a local hospital in June and it was only last week that they took him home like he and my grandmother wanted. But on the night of July 2nd we were all in a panic because my grandfather was having so much difficulty breathing that we had no choice but to send him to the hospital again. The only difference is, this time, he was going to be taken to a regular room, as the family’s decided to no longer have him intubated.<br />
<br />
With that in mind, I knew that the inevitable would happen soon. Things like a wake, a funeral… These thoughts came to mind but I tried to dismiss them. I was in denial but there was no denying that my beloved grandfather was already suffering so much that no medical intervention could save him.<br />
<br />
Timing… Two priests who were friends of ours came over to our house that night, and I kindly asked that they come with me to the hospital to bless my grandfather. I am so relieved that we made it in time, and my grandfather was anointed with Oil and blessed.<br />
<br />
I held his hand and I cried and cried. He had gotten so thin and frail, his skin was in bruises from all the needles, he was a picture of suffering and exhaustion.<br />
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His doctor came and laid out the facts, he could give antibiotics but without a tube the effects were going to be futile. At this point my sister had to ask him if we were just going to be waiting then… Waiting for what, I already knew. But we were still hoping so desperately that we even talked about his condition when he comes home, that he might not be able to walk anymore, and that we would still ask the doctor to start the antibiotics.<br />
<br />
His stats kept on dropping lower, his breaths irregular, and I knew from his blood pressure that it won’t be long. But I still hesitated to think he would leave us. Most of our family who surrounded him that night were crying with me, and they were saying thank you to my grandfather as if he was really going soon. But I couldn’t say thank you because it would mean it’s really the end… I didn’t want my grandfather to think that or hear that, at least not from me. I don’t know how conscious he was, how much of it all he heard, how much pain he felt from gasping for air… He looked like he was drowning outside water… Until sometime later he would stop breathing for more than 10 seconds… Then he would gasp again for air, cough, and he would stop again… Every time he stopped I would panic and call out to him… I didn’t want him to go…<br />
<br />
My sister would whisper in his ear that we were going to be okay… We’ll take care of our grandmother and his worries on earth…<br />
<br />
Timing… My grandmother and cousin arrived. My lovely grandmother was heartbroken as she didn’t expect to see him suffering like this, and she was still unaware of what was about to happen. But soon she understood and cried. My grandfather wasn’t responding to us, gasping for breaths, not breathing, not opening his eyes… My grandmother leaned over to hug him and speak in his right ear, and when she did, my grandfather’s oxygen saturation and pulse shot up to 100 for several seconds. All of us in the room looked at each other in amazement. Even for a very short while, there was a glimmer of hope.<br />
<br />
But then the stats disappeared, as if the machine couldn’t detect anything. We thought maybe the pulse oximeter wasn’t properly in place, we thought this, that… But it was already the end.<br />
<br />
Medical staff rushed in and took his blood pressure, we tried to look for a pulse, they tried to use an ECG to check his heart… These attempts were nothing. There was nothing.<br />
<br />
At that point, it was already the reality. We all cried and cried, and didn’t care how loud we were. We were, and we still are, in pain. We knew they would take him away and we wouldn’t be able to touch him, hug him, kiss him anymore. We couldn’t do anything else but cry, express our gratitude for all that he’s done, kiss him, and cry some more. But the most memorable words I heard from my grandmother as she was crying were, “<i>Hindi ko na mayayakap </i>(I wouldn’t be able to hug him anymore)” and “<i>Aalagaan mo si utoy ha</i> (please take care of our son).” referring to youngest child who passed away when he was only 5 years old. My grandmother kissed and kissed my grandfather’s face, arms, hands, caressed him like there was no tomorrow, because there wasn’t indeed no more tomorrow for them. No longer would my grandfather be able to come home to their house to share meals, to sleep next to each other, to live together.<br />
<br />
They asked for a blanket… A blanket to warp him around so they could take him to the morgue. We were sent out of the room so they could clean him up, take out all the tubes, etc.<br />
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Family started to call other family to tell them the sad news.<br />
<br />
At one point I went back inside the room because the staff had left and there was no one with my grandfather, and I was in disbelief seeing him in a new state. He was wrapped up in blankets; a sight I only saw in movies or TV shows. It was awfully quiet. Only minutes ago I could hear his breaths, as difficult as they may have sounded, but now the silence was deafening.<br />
<br />
I didn’t imagine my day to start out like that. I just sat there, looking at his body, talking to him, saying thank you, I love you. It was an image that I didn’t know I would see yesterday, the week before, the months before this. I didn’t know it was going to be his last birthday last April. I didn’t know that last year was our last Christmas together, that last January was his last New Year’s. I didn’t know that his last father’s day would be weeks ago. We all didn’t know.<br />
<br />
I’ve been trying to visit his wake every day since Sunday. He’s wearing a navy blue coat and striped tie, and he still looks so dashingly handsome even after life. I keep telling people he gave me these high cheekbones.<br />
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More and more flowers arrive each day and people keep coming to see him. The family has already decided to have the interment on Sunday, what we should all wear, where the mass will be held, etc. So, I went to the mall yesterday looking for something to wear on the most devastating day of my life this year, and I was thinking about how to commute from the mall to the hospital… But realized, oh wait, it’s not the hospital anymore.<br />
<br />
I compiled his pictures and currently I have 421 of them, 421 moments frozen in time, playing over and over on the flat screen at the wake so that everyone could see moments of his full life. These are times when he was smiling, frowning, eating, walking, hugging, kissing, laughing. Times when he was full of life and love. And we are all wishing to see him do all these things again.<br />
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I am grieving from losing my dear grandfather. We all are and it’s difficult for everyone, but I don’t know how many people know or understand my special connection with him and these memories I shared with you, or if other people see it at all. But of course I’m sure we all do, because my grandfather has touched the lives of people in so many wonderful ways.<br />
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I have mostly accepted that fact he has gone to be with the Lord, but sometimes I would think back and remember and cry. <br />
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I used to pray for him, that he be healed from his illness and live a normal life again and in the prayer it also has a part that says:<br />
<i>However, if his (my) healing is not part of Your will for his life and if his suffering will help in glorifying Your name further for the salvation of the world, then help him offer it to You wholeheartedly. Please grant him the grace to have the courage and the faith transcend this human predicament which both you and Padre Pio fulfilled. Please stay by his side, Jesus. Let Your love console his heart and make his mind realize the meaning behind his suffering so that It could be a source of inspiration to souls who are searching for Your wisdom and love.</i><br />
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So I keep thinking that when his stats shot up to 100, maybe he went without pain. If it was adrenaline rush from hearing my grandmother’s voice, I don’t know, but maybe the Lord finally took the pain away in the last moments.<br />
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I remember my grandfather telling us that he saw Jesus at a time when he was in critical condition in the hospital. And right now that’s all I want to happen, that he would stay in the loving arms of Jesus and God our Father in all eternity.<br />
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I’m sharing all this with the world because I want his memory to last forever and that I’m so proud to have had a truly awesome grandfather like him. It will be painful to no longer see you sitting outside your house just looking around, but your memory and legacy will live on.<br />
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Thank you to everyone who took care of him.. My sister, my cousin, my mom, everyone who made sure he was well taken care of, thank you.<br />
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<i>We love you so much, Lolo. We all miss you, so, so much. Until we meet again.</i><br />
<br />
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JeeanFoxyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02949901172629695062noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4616007375876402490.post-43852615039941629012016-07-01T10:04:00.005+08:002016-07-01T10:04:37.020+08:00CourageMy son doesn't even know it yet.<br />
But he is easily, <i>easily</i> the bravest person I know.<br />
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<div style="text-align: right;">
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JeeanFoxyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02949901172629695062noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4616007375876402490.post-28159867677290190452016-06-24T16:31:00.003+08:002016-06-24T16:31:56.157+08:00Staying HomeHow do I do this again?<br />
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I now have a two-month old and a 6 year old who has just started first grade. Last night wasn't the best night; I had a lot on my mind. Everything is overwhelming and it feels like waves are crashing down on me.<br />
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I just started my extended leave just right after my maternity leave of 78 days and I've gone back to being a stay at home mom. All my heels and office clothes are now tucked away in the depths of our bedroom. I don't even remember what those look like anymore. Now it's just the comfiest, lightest house clothes with a ponytail or a hair bun to match. My face hasn't been this make-up free in a long while and the corporate look has definitely taken a back seat.<br />
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I'm having some help with my kids and I can't imagine how much - what's the best term - <i>busier</i> my life would be without support. I'm essentially pain-free now but I'm still very much in the recovery period and not having a nanny to do the little things sometimes take a toll. I still feel a little but of pain along my cut every now and then because I sometimes need to exert physical effort to get things done. The pain is negligible but noticeable.<br />
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I'm back to being a stay at home mom. It's familiar territory but I can't help but be overwhelmed with a ton of additional worries and responsibilities that goes with having more than one child. Motherhood has become a balancing act more than ever.<br />
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But on a lighter note, it's all challenging but rewarding. On top of these everything, I get to take care of my new born son and exclusively breastfeed him and I also get to experience more <i>Iainisms</i> first hand. That's a term I coined for my eldest's quirks and these started when she was just a baby. To recap a brand spankin new Iainism that happened today, here's my Facebook status a posted:<br />
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<i>Iaine came to me crying, voice trembling. </i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i> Momma I'm going to tell you something...<br /> What is it?<br /> Later na lang...<br /> What is it about?<br /> *NAME* HAS A CRUSH ON ME BUT I DON'T WANT HIIIIIM! (more crying ensued)</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i> Our conversation continued with her in my arms, and me telling her it was normal and she should stay nice to the boy but she doesn't need to like him back. She also told me the boy told her himself. Kids!</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i> I just had a talk with my 6 year old about crushes. Shit just got real waaaaaaaaa.</i><br />
<br />
Nothing could have prepared me for that conversation. <br />
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This entry probably isn't the most cohesive and I was only able to do this today because I'm on a break. But another topic that popped into my head is to create another blog for another hobby. Nothing's laid out but it would be more time consuming than this motherhood blog. Would probably be a work in progress for a long time.<br />
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My eye lids are drooping. I need to catch some Z's before the little man wakes up. Bye!<br />
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JeeanFoxyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02949901172629695062noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4616007375876402490.post-32195595761545500142016-06-14T17:59:00.001+08:002016-06-14T18:05:17.492+08:00Junior Savers<div style="text-align: justify;">
Gotta start them young!</div>
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My son just got Baptized last Saturday, June 11th, and he received a lot of monetary gifts as per custom. I don't want his money lying around the house and I don't want his money saved together with mine, so I made the decision to open bank accounts for him and his big sister- their very own!</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsqDACJUiaZCu91PlaRawU5FUItYROmUbXM6jxEgYxRhX8qT7mzB1fOCkkPr4GsbUPcXoUWR1VRQL2rPTqZ9PmQbtg-ZcOJnNNA3ZPbi3nQmQIzJcthRwW_FpAfRSipK1nF2Uz_YC1kUls/s1600/e3509921-97b9-4609-b021-abc5863545c8.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="267" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsqDACJUiaZCu91PlaRawU5FUItYROmUbXM6jxEgYxRhX8qT7mzB1fOCkkPr4GsbUPcXoUWR1VRQL2rPTqZ9PmQbtg-ZcOJnNNA3ZPbi3nQmQIzJcthRwW_FpAfRSipK1nF2Uz_YC1kUls/s400/e3509921-97b9-4609-b021-abc5863545c8.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>My babies' passbooks =)</i><br />
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<span style="text-align: justify;">If you plan to open a BDO Junior Savers account for your child (0-6 years old), this list of requirements might help you:</span></div>
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<ul>
<li style="text-align: justify;">Just to be sure, make an initial deposit of 500Php</li>
<li style="text-align: justify;">Photocopy of his birth certificate (bring the original for reference just in case)</li>
<li style="text-align: justify;">If you're married, bring a copy of your marriage contract (bring the original too for reference just in case)</li>
<li style="text-align: justify;">Some branches ask for yours and the child's 1x1 photos (my branch didn't) but just bring a couple anyway just to be sure</li>
<li style="text-align: justify;">And this is very important: your 2 valid IDs with the <b>same signature</b>. My signature evolved over the years so my older ID got rejected. I had to get a barangay clearance just because my signature was different on my passport. They used my barangay clearance as a subsitute and it served as the 2nd valid ID.</li>
<li style="text-align: justify;">Your child doesn't need to be present with you at the time of account opening if he is 6 years old or below.</li>
<li style="text-align: justify;">On the phone they asked me to bring my child's school ID and school registration form (enrollment receipt perhaps?) but they didn't ask for it in the bank. Weird.</li>
</ul>
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A few things to note:</div>
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<ul>
<li style="text-align: justify;">If your child is 7 years old and above, you need to take them with you to the bank as he needs to sign the paperwork himself. Bring the same requirements above to be sure.</li>
<li style="text-align: justify;">Only children who are 7 years old and above are granted an ATM card. 6 years and below are only given passbooks.</li>
<li style="text-align: justify;">Unless the child is granted an ATM card (7 years old and above), there is no way for you to check their account balance unless you ask over the counter or if you have an account yourself with BDO. They might be able to connect your accounts together or something. That, I'm not sure, because I don't have an account with them.</li>
<li style="text-align: justify;">I was told that there is a monthly interest of 500Php which I think is a tad too much for a Junior Savers account, but doing my research it's .25% annually. I don't know which to believe but I was in a hurry so I wasn't able to clarify with the teller.</li>
<li style="text-align: justify;">The child needs to have a minimum balance of 100Php in his account.</li>
</ul>
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Hope this helps out other moms who'd like to take the same step in teaching their kids the value of money.</div>
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JeeanFoxyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02949901172629695062noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4616007375876402490.post-28230224142443816382016-05-13T11:49:00.004+08:002016-05-13T11:53:55.974+08:001 Month<br />
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<div style="text-align: center;">
My son just turned a month old on May 11, 2016, weighing 4.5kg.</div>
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We are incredibly thankful.</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
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JeeanFoxyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02949901172629695062noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4616007375876402490.post-4303230031355205452016-04-20T05:36:00.001+08:002016-04-20T05:36:44.427+08:00A Family of Four - A Birth Story<div style="text-align: justify;">
April 11, 2016 was the day I gave birth to my wonderful baby boy! Funny how my blog post on April 11 was about how impatient we were getting to meet this baby. Little did I know it was gonna happen later that day!</div>
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I line jumped and I line jumped hard! My son was born at 38+2 but he was born healthy with an Apgar score of 8,9. I don't have a lot of dramatic details to share because this was another planned c-section but I would have to say overall that it's a positive experience and I'll share as much as I can.</div>
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Birth story time!<br />
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<b>Prologue</b></div>
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I was scheduled for a follow-up checkup with my OB in the morning of April 11th and we've decided to have the c-section the next day. Husband and I went home and I was pumped to get the last minute items packed for my early morning hospitalization. However like I said, we had to make the decision to have the c-section later that day at around 8-9PM. I had to be on fasting starting 1:30PM which was no fun because I couldn't even have water. I was texting my OB and he ordered that I should get admitted after lunch and not later because I needed to get hydrated so Jai and I hurriedly got ready and we decided to leave my MIL and Iaine home. I messaged family members to tell them that plans have changed then my dad picked us up...</div>
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At the ER I was all smiles. I knew it would be the start of the pains of birthing this child but I was just happy to be there. After choosing a room I was hooked up to an IV and waited to get wheeled away. After a long wait (ER told me they had a difficult time contacting my doctors) I was sent to my room.<br />
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While waiting for Jai and my dad to unload our stuff from the car I felt super drowsy and dozed off. I actually didn't want to because I knew I would just sleep and sleep after the CS, but I guess everything that transpired before my hospitalization caught up on me. In a couple of hours my in-laws arrived with my daughter but for certain reasons we had to relocate to a better suite not long after. I was fine with this because it would be inconvenient to have the rearrangements after the operation.<br />
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<i>Suite 3</i></div>
We <i>finally </i>got settled in this time and I was just waiting for 8PM. I was excited to finally get it over with but still scared of the pain. Soon my mom and other relatives arrived and this made me feel less nervous...<br />
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<b>Baby Time</b><br />
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<i>(L) Last photo as a family of 3 / (R) Before I was taken to my OR theater</i></div>
I changed into my gown and was sent to the OR with my husband was in tow because we were hoping he could scrub in and watch the birth. I was greeted by my super nice anesthesiologist who asked me some questions then I was taken to the theater. Sadly, we had to leave Jai behind. I was kind of disappointed because I was really hoping he would be present for this birth unlike the first one, but hospital policy has never allowed a significant other to be present during a CS operation. He handed his GoPro camera to my sister who works in the same hospital so she could take the videos so I was still happy that I'll get to see the action after the whole thing is over.<br />
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<i>My sister likes selfies.</i></div>
After another set of questions from an OR nurse, in a couple of minutes I was lying in the OR table chatting with my anesth and my sister for what felt like more than an hour. I kept asking my sister to check up on the husband who was left in the waiting area. She told me he was anxious, the poor guy. The operation was delayed because we had to wait for my OB to arrive (I overheard comments from staff that he had a long day) but I didn't mind the wait honestly. That extra time allowed me to have small talk and some laughs with my anesth and my sister which calmed me down. I was way more relaxed this time unlike my first CS where my knees were shaking in fear; I was mortified out of my mind. Now there was less fear of the unknown because I already had an idea what would happen after, and everyone in the OR made me feel at ease.<br />
<br />
I heard my anesth say that my OB was almost ready so she started prepping me by giving me something that made me groggy as f. My vein didn't hurt as bad as my first time and it's funny to think back at that moment because I knew I would get sleepy and could pass out any second. What happened after that is a blur but I have some recall of what happened. I got turned to my right side and I had to hang on to one of the OR assists (I remember feeling super relaxed, didn't even feel the spinal, and was super comfortable clinging onto a stranger's arms. LOL drugs)... Then, drapes in front of my face... Then my anesth asking me some questions to check on me... Then my OB's voice...<br />
<br />
My consciousness was on and off like if you watch a movie with some parts on fast forward or skipped and you have no idea what's happening. Although I do remember quite vividly how the doctors yanked at my abdomen-- I was certain they were having a hard time pulling my son out. I remember the assistant doctor's voice was quite in a panic and I was feeling a lot of pulling and yanking behind the drape below my chin. I didn't feel any pain but I felt a lot of pressure even up to my ribs. I also learned just recently from my sister that my doctor had to make the cut a little longer because they were really struggling to get him out. Ouch..<br />
<br />
<b>A New Life</b><br />
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At 9:31PM, my son whom I have been praying and waiting for for years and years, Iajin Alfredous Jye, was born. They told me they would just clean him up before they show him to me. I remember his loud, strong, very boyish cries at the far end of the room as the pediatrician prepped him on the warmer while I waited, and when I finally saw him the feeling was just incredible. I was filled with so much joy! I now have a bouncing baby boy and with so much black hair too! I didn't have my glasses on (not allowed) but I knew he was beautiful. I thought, he is finally born, and he's okay.<br />
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But because I was drugged, I had no idea that initially it <i>wasn't</i> okay, and that they had to stimulate my baby different ways such as ambu-bagging his foot so that he could cry/breathe. My sister who witnessed it thinks the baby might have went into distress as they struggled to pull him out because he was so stuck in utero. Normally during a c-section, with one forceful push a baby's head would pop out of the cut, but not my son because of his position. This doesn't really surprise me though because in the last weeks of my pregnancy I kept feeling him squeeze into the corners of my pelvis. Also I realize now that had I chosen to go through with the VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean) I could have ended up having a c-section anyway.<br />
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After my initial encounter with Iajin I might have been put into a deeper state of unconsiousness because I wasn't sure what happened before I was sent to the recovery room or how long it took for my OB to stitch me back up. I just remember being lifted to another stretcher that will take me to the RR. I remember looking to my left and seeing 2 other patients. Anyway, the RR staff were checking on me every once in a while and they were really nice and reassuring. At one time though I think I was woken up by one of the doctors who was loudly talking from afar about how my sister shouldn't come into the NICU (Nursery) because she worked in the ICU hehe. I also overheard my sister standing at the RR door saying she wanted to see me up close but they didn't allow her. Honestly, I don't know how long they kept me there.<br />
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Before they discharged me from the RR I think they changed my diaper and this was when the pain started. Two nurses assisted me and one of them warned that I would feel pain and <i>holy shizballs</i>. He pressed on my uterus repeatedly to discharge clots and I could only helplessly moan my way through the ordeal.<br />
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Before I exited the OR complex we made a stop in the hallway outside the Nursery (I had no idea so it was a nice surprise) and once again they showed me my baby boy. He was already swaddled and all cleaned up. The nurse put him next to my face and even though I knew I shouldn't kiss his face because of how sensitive it is I couldn't help myself-- my son was just <i>so </i>adorable (moment frozen in time in the picture above). He has very kind and curious eyes and I adored how he gently blinked as I spoke to him. After about 10 seconds they took him back to the nursery and I was taken to the elevator.<br />
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When I arrived at my suite everyone was quiet. Might have been because everyone was sleepy; it was already so late at night when I got back. My mom greeted me at the door and asked if I was okay with a thumbs up and I answered with a nod. Last time we were both an emotional mess hehe. She and my mother-in-law told me not to speak to prevent gas. I was lifted back to my hospital bed and the long road to recovery officially started...<br />
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<b>The Pain</b><br />
<b><br /></b>
Pain deserves its own section because this is the part I was dreading for 9 months and the pain that comes with childbirth demands to be felt.<br />
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First night after the operation I awoke in the middle of the night moaning in excruciating pain because my uterus was contracting. To be honest I forgot that this was even a thing. Yes ladies, you may be done giving birth but the contractions will linger. It was <i>unforgiving</i> at 8-10 on the pain scale. I wanted to scream but I can't or else my stomach will get distended so helpless me just cried with gritted teeth. My uterus and my whole pelvis went stiff and I was shaking in so much pain. I had no control over it as it happened again and again. My loud cries woke up my husband and he sleepily held my hand tight and wiped my tears.<br />
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Early in the morning my anesthesiologist dropped by to make her rounds to check on me and was pleased to hear that I didn't have much pain when at rest and that I was able to move my legs and feet.<br />
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But! The contractions kept coming back all day. The nurses gave me pain meds but even administering those were painful and swelled up my vein. And as much as I would like to lie still, I needed to take baby steps to recover as soon as possible by ambulating (walking around) within 24 hours after the operation. Getting up from bed was torture in itself but I needed to do it. At 1PM they took out my urinary catheter so later that day I had to walk to the bathroom and take my first leak post-op. Honestly it wasn't as bad as I expected (previous CS experience: first pee after CS felt like my insides were being sliced by a knife) and I should have known better that this should be the least of my worries. I regained control over my bladder which was good because I could stop for a bit when it got too painful. I also farted which meant my GI tract has regained function. So glamorous.<br />
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But forget about food. I couldn't have anything other than a soft diet and sips of water after passing gas but I didn't eat until later that day because of lack of appetite. Or maybe subconsciously my body was scared to put effort into pooping. Overall, the first day post-op was hell but I got the best consolation: I mustered up all the strength that I got so I could see my son at the Nursery that night to hold and breastfeed him for the first time. Visiting hours were over but I took my time bonding with him. I was in awe of the new life I created and I was cherishing every second of it.<br />
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2 days post-op I was still woken up in the wee hours of the morning by contractions. Pain seemed to be getting worse when I should be getting better and I thought that I would just be in pain forever. Ambulating only became slightly easier but I had to suck it up or else they won't send me home. That afternoon, My OB did his rounds, changed my dressing, and told me I was good to go.<br />
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I am typically a little vain about my looks, but while I was in the hospital I couldn't care less. I was just a disheveled, puffy faced, cranky, tearful, whiny lady who was transported into the bottomless pit of pain.<br />
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<b>Home and the Road to Recovery</b><br />
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Unlike my previous birth where we had lots of visitors who came to see us once we got home, this time we arrived to a quiet house and me and the baby were able to rest for the rest of the day which was exactly what I was hoping for. I was so exhausted and didn't have the energy to entertain guests.<br />
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It's been over a week now and my husband has been my primary caregiver while he is on paternity leave. I needed to have almost everything done for me. I literally didn't go downstairs until 6 days post-partum as I was on bed rest with bathroom privileges. My son is 9 days old as of this writing and the pain has drastically improved, but without my abdominal binder the sharp pains are still magnified (not to mention my insides feel like spilling out). Recently though I haven't been wearing it all day to let my skin breathe . I've already developed nasty heat rashes on my belly that are now wounds because I scratched too much. Not pretty.<br />
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Recently I've been able to do much more on my own, like sorting out our stuff that just kept piling up in the bedroom since we got home from the hospital and giving my son phototherapy in the morning, but I still need help getting up from bed or picking things up from the floor sometimes, basically activities that require ab strength.<br />
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I've been on a ton of meds and vitamins to maintain my milk supply, prevent infection and counter the pain, and I need laxatives to make sure I go number 2 because for some reason my bowels don't seem to be cooperating very much. Also my sleep pattern is whack but I guess it has its advantages because while my husbands sleeps, I'm on night baby duty.<br />
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I'm anxious about my husband going back to work because that would mean I need to be 100% hands on on the baby even though I haven't fully recovered but I'm lucky to have some help with my first born. It also helps that she's already six and is already quite independent.<br />
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<b>How is Baby?</b><br />
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<i>First night at home. Eyes were puffy from the body wash they used in the Nursery.</i></div>
Iajin is a wonderful boy and I'm not just saying that because he's my son. He's not a fussy baby at all, although he's a very loud crier and a light sleeper! Swaddling does nothing for him but I notice that he sleeps better squeezed in between bolster pillows or co-sleeping with me and his Poppa. He likes to hear us sing and hum while he stares with his big expressive eyes. When he's fed and clean, he stays calm even without being played with.<br />
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I'm trying to exclusively breastfeed him but it's difficult right now as I'm just starting to build up my supply. From 2 ounces each breast last week it's now going up to 5 ounces which is awesome. And by the way, I salute all moms who can exclusively breastfeed-- it's a piece of work! Waking up and walking around with leaking rock hard tatas and growing 1-2 cups larger is painful and you have to feed and pump regularly or else you'll be in so much pain and become at risk for <i>mastitis</i>.<br />
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Iajin has a bit of jaundice in his eyes (hence the daily phototherapy) so I'm looking forward to seeing his pedia and understand how we can better manage it.<br />
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His skin is just starting to exfoliate in some parts which is totally normal, and...<br />
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He's already fallen victim to his father's crazy antics.<br />
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<i>Rock and roll!</i></div>
<b>Epilogue</b><br />
<b><br /></b>Sometimes I catch myself in disbelief that the hardest part is over. My baby and I are here, we are both safe and we have started to live a brand new chapter of our lives as a family of four. My eldest Iaine is so happy to finally have his baby brother home and she's such a sweetheart to him. She's so proud to be a big sister! Even though she told me and her dad that she was a little jealous, I'm proud to say that she's not acting out and instead she's willing to take part in taking care of her brother. Aside from our usual bonding moments, I give her small tasks to make her feel that she's involved and that we don't love her any less.<br />
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A new baby changes everything. You feel it in the relationships around you, your home, your career, your wallet! Right now I don't know what's in store for me as a new mom of 2 and how our lives will turn out having Iajin in our lives, but I'm hoping for the best that I can raise my 2 children to be healthy and well-rounded individuals despite having weird crazy parents.<br />
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I'm so excited to share his milestones with you all. Thanks for reading, and please wish me luck on this new adventure with Iajin Alfredous Jye!</div>
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JeeanFoxyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02949901172629695062noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4616007375876402490.post-89060651161196319442016-04-11T05:53:00.000+08:002016-04-11T05:53:50.162+08:00The Waiting GameHello my love. How are you? I haven't been feeling you move as much, are you okay? Are you getting too big in there? Apartment getting too small to hang out in? If you are, you won't have to worry about that after you are born. The world will be your playground.<br />
<br />
I hope today we'll get some good news. Momma is nervous, but Momma, Poppa, and Ate Iaine are all excited (not to mention growing impatient) to know when we will be able to finally meet you. Everything is all ready for you, Momma just needs to be more prepared for the physical pain waiting for me, but I am willing to go through all that again just to have you here healthy and happy.<br />
<br />
So... Here we are still, waiting for your birth day. I don't know yet when you'll be truly ready for the world, but my love, I will try my best to give you the world.<br />
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JeeanFoxyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02949901172629695062noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4616007375876402490.post-16824801649376999512016-04-06T18:33:00.003+08:002016-04-08T08:27:20.789+08:00So Near Yet So Far<div style="text-align: justify;">
Well I just got back from the doctor today and sadly, the finish line might still be a long way away...</div>
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He's not convinced I could deliver this baby by Sunday for an important reason: baby and placenta are not mature enough as of this writing. Please don't get me wrong; I'm not in a hurry at all and I want him to bake for as long as possible in here to up his chances of survival but I would be lying if I say I wasn't at least a little disappointed. I need to go back on Monday for another sonogram so he could check if the baby and the placenta are ready for the outside world next week.</div>
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Another thing that bothers me is that the anesthesiologist that I want would be attending a convention from Wednesday to Sunday, and I'm afraid I might go into labor within that period if I don't have the c-section by Tuesday. Yes we have decided, I'll be having a repeat CS. I thought about it (even keeps me up at night) and realized that I don't want to risk going VBAC but end up with a c-section at the end of the day if I don't progress 1 cm per hour during active labor. Induction is also a big NO because of having a previous c-section.</div>
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Despite this news and the nuisance in the form of another pregnant lady next to me in the waiting area who was loudly and constantly whining about how long the doctor takes per patient and that she'll miss some appointment and how unaccommodating the doctor's secretaries were (she was complaining about everything while the secretaries were <i>there</i>, I was close to shoving my first in her mouth to shut her the hell up) there were a lot of things that I liked about today:</div>
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<ul>
<li>I got to see my son again! These past few weeks his face hardly changes though (almost the same snapshot printout week after week LOL). I'm so excited to see what that face actually looks like!</li>
<li>My doctor really took his time doing the sonogram because he wanted to make sure everything was measuring correctly.</li>
<li>He reassured me that the baby does not have Down Syndrome. I've never been high risk on this or anything, but I just had to ask how they were able to detect an anomaly like that on a sonogram. And because he is type of doctor who takes time with his patients to address any concerns, he even taught me the things the DS babies manifest on a sonogram: (a) eyes and ears are not at same level aka lopsided (b) flat or no nasal bone (c) increased nuchal/nape thickness (d) hand/arm doesn't move much and is always clenched near the chest</li>
<li>He also taught me (a) how he could tell if the placenta was mature: there should be a thick white lining visible around the placenta (b) and how he could tell if the placenta was attached correctly for a woman who already had a previous c-section: there should be a visible separation and should not be stuck together.</li>
<li>I got a good long glimpse of my son's beating heart. I saw the tiny chambers steadily pumping. Oh the heart that will be filled with so much love.</li>
<li>I also got to watch him practice "breathing." My doc showed me how the baby inhales and exhales, and it was so amazing to see.</li>
<li>Last week I weighed 143 lbs and today I weighed 140! This is good news because I lost weight but the baby grew in size. Last Tuesday his estimated fetal weight was 6++ but today he is already at 7.3lbs which is big for Filipino baby standards. When his big sister was born she weighed 7.4 lbs so I don't know how much more he'll weigh by Monday!</li>
</ul>
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What I also liked about today: I got to see my mom and I went to the mall! I almost thought I was starting to turn into a hermit. Instead of waiting in vain for my turn at the clinic, I took the opportunity to hitch a ride with my mom to pay my mobile service bill and buy some last minute items for the baby. It felt like being introduced back to society and it felt like a win! A small triumph but still a win, because I had to walk lots but didn't go into spontaneous labor.</div>
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However all this activity is starting to take its toll and right now I'm really exhausted and this close to passing out on the keyboard. Gotta lie down and take it easy for a while.</div>
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I'm hoping to see the end of the tunnel on Monday, but I still pray that everything would go as planned in God's time.</div>
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54494/128/3DFBF2D343989902E4A6CC585D2FAF92.png" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px;" /></a></div>
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JeeanFoxyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02949901172629695062noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4616007375876402490.post-79971928880379945332016-04-05T15:36:00.003+08:002016-04-05T15:41:08.418+08:00Things to Do<div style="text-align: justify;">
I got more things to do than I thought!</div>
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We already rearranged our bedroom furniture and moved a lot of stuff out to make more room for the baby's things, but I just realized I still have plenty I need to finish before the big day.</div>
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<ul>
<li style="text-align: justify;">buy <i>lampin</i> and pre-wash them (usually soft absorbent white cloth used as cloth diapers) but the purpose of those would be the baby's pillow in the first few weeks to prevent flat-head)</li>
<li style="text-align: justify;">pack the baby's bag (sorry little guy!)</li>
<li style="text-align: justify;">pack my husband's things (I kept asking him to do this but he insists this would be an easy last-minute thing)</li>
<li style="text-align: justify;">finish packing my own bag (I realized I don't even have binders, slippers, and even toiletries in there yet!)</li>
<li style="text-align: justify;">set up the crib</li>
<li style="text-align: justify;">pick up my sister's breast pump (she stopped breastfeeding and it's great that I don't need to buy a brand new one for myself)</li>
<li style="text-align: justify;">pick up my nephew's day-time bassinet and have it ready in the living room (used only for a few months and he stopped using it just a couple of months ago)</li>
<li style="text-align: justify;">sterilize baby bottles and bring some to the hospital (just in case I won't be able to do direct latching and rooming in-- breastfeeding policies and rooming-in policies in Philippine hospitals vary )</li>
<li style="text-align: justify;">pack blankets, pillows, and pillow cases</li>
<li style="text-align: justify;">aaaaand literally have some on-hand cash!</li>
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Something tells me this list isn't even complete!</div>
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JeeanFoxyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02949901172629695062noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4616007375876402490.post-30471315596299051922016-04-04T01:04:00.004+08:002016-04-05T15:48:38.094+08:00My Surprise Baby Shower<div style="text-align: justify;">
My surprise baby shower happened last night!</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1S03_6mXxZtbDuVrUuPlRkrlGH2GCG2mTgD7oflx1KLWzg-S7D2F5xQeHYDnOHKRbEYcA9isRgc0krTCiVw2_HF1b4ncv50cvfpgvx7FBNNXKdnDovqz4W7TFGwKQJzBDqis2UiIsvwFw/s1600/invite.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1S03_6mXxZtbDuVrUuPlRkrlGH2GCG2mTgD7oflx1KLWzg-S7D2F5xQeHYDnOHKRbEYcA9isRgc0krTCiVw2_HF1b4ncv50cvfpgvx7FBNNXKdnDovqz4W7TFGwKQJzBDqis2UiIsvwFw/s320/invite.jpg" width="281" /></a></div>
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Family and friends made it a huge success. I'm so happy and thankful and I wish I could repay them all with more than words of gratitude!</div>
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My sister was the mastermind of it all but a lot of people helped her make the event possible including my wonderful husband. There's just so many of them I just couldn't mention each one! People brought cakes, ice cream, sweets, and pitched in on the food. There were tonnnns of food! I am still overwhelmed by their love.</div>
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I've been telling my sister I wasn't planning on a baby shower because my budget is really tight right now as I get closer to having another child that I will need to provide for. But being the wonderful and generous person that she is, she couldn't take that for an answer and set one up a party for me. She made the streamers and other props herself, and even took those to her workplace to finish them. I truly, sincerely appreciate the effort!</div>
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To be honest I was awake all night last night (thank you pregnancy insomnia) and slept almost all day until afternoon except when I had to eat breakfast and take 1 bathroom break. As usual I was in pain so I made the most out of my day in resting, even though I feel guilty for not being able to visit my grandparents again this weekend. But because the exhaustion was unbearable I followed my doctor's and my husband's orders to rest. When I find a comfortable position to sleep which is a rarity nowadays, hell yes I will take the opportunity to doze off.</div>
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In hindsight, now I get it why my husband kept telling me to fall back asleep LOL. At 3pm I woke up feeling sweaty and uncomfortable so I told him I'm gonna take a bath. He literally almost threw the towel at me which was weird. Next weird things he did: he refused to let me throw away the used cotton bud myself because I would need to leave the bedroom, and he told me to dress in something for 'going out.' Okaaaaay. When I was almost ready to go I asked him if I should just eat in the bedroom (he said my mother-in-law had guests downstairs) so he said he'd check if there was space for us at the dining table. I turned off the TV, unplugged the wall fan. He came back and asked why I did, I told him wellll I want to eat. He then said for us to wait a while because people still occupied the dining table to I turned the TV and fan back on. At that point it was getting a little silly, and I was confused if something was happening or not. A few minutes later, his phone beeped, and we headed downstairs to eat. <i>Finally.</i></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1uEsid_UeELT2qtbWbA6KL5qWytMyh4czq_lFN7lJGt_4hqiqCjZm3s_61gKgY8IEQQfWXXq7APE-Cwi88SF83doCPXXinYIlLHtx_CQAt5c_L5jZJNSZAxNhm_XSXJQeQ8yAOOM0p2EH/s1600/cake.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1uEsid_UeELT2qtbWbA6KL5qWytMyh4czq_lFN7lJGt_4hqiqCjZm3s_61gKgY8IEQQfWXXq7APE-Cwi88SF83doCPXXinYIlLHtx_CQAt5c_L5jZJNSZAxNhm_XSXJQeQ8yAOOM0p2EH/s400/cake.jpg" width="270" /></a></div>
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He went downstairs before I did and when I arrived at the landing part of the stairs I was greeting with a joyous "SURPRISE!" by family. Some friends from Manila who I know from work also came over and I'm so touched that they traveled hours just to see me!<br />
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We had a laugh about how I had zero makeup on so I went back upstairs to get made up. I was also wearing a blue/green shirt so my daughter said, "Mama, you're only supposed to wear red, black or white." Alrighty then, so I put on a white shirt instead. But that still kind of frustrated her and asked why I wasn't wearing red. LOL kids.</div>
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There were no games but the kids got to take a dip in our inflatable pool and I still received presents from these wonderful people even though I wasn't expecting anything. Their presence was enough to be honest, so those gifts were a just a super bonus!</div>
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It was a simple gathering of friends and family at home but I truly enjoyed the party, and I'm excited for all of these people to meet our son who is the reason for all of this. One thing's for sure-- he will be showered with lots of love!</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
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JeeanFoxyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02949901172629695062noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4616007375876402490.post-85178103211300304432016-04-03T02:34:00.003+08:002016-04-04T22:54:25.807+08:00Post-Pregnancy Whims<div style="text-align: justify;">
Who's gonna give birth this month?</div>
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Meeeeeee!!!</div>
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It's April 3rd and I'm getting closer and closer to my due date. I keep imagining what our baby might look like, how big he'll be at the time of delivery, what quirks he'll have that we'll go crazy about, and other things... But what I'm also looking forward to the most is getting to consume all the food and drinks that my doctors have kept me away from these past 9 months! I terribly miss sushi, ice cold soda/softdrinks, hot or iced coffee, a generous amount of hot chocolate, and my most favorite: ICED TEA! I've been a little naughty though by taking small sips out of my husband's drinks at times but just enough so I would satisfy my craving. The craving is <i>insaaaane. </i>So, I made my husband promise that once my bowels are ready to take that all in again after delivery, GIVE ME THAT SHIT, by the bucket. Lol.</div>
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Cheers to other April bumpers like me! I wish us all a successful delivery.</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54494/128/3DFBF2D343989902E4A6CC585D2FAF92.png" style="border: 0 !important; background: transparent;"/></a></div>
<center>
<a href="http://lilypie.com/"><img alt="Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers" border="0" src="http://lbyf.lilypie.com/G34Mp8.png" height="80" width="400" /></a></center>JeeanFoxyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02949901172629695062noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4616007375876402490.post-65673576114434760162016-04-03T02:26:00.003+08:002016-04-04T22:54:33.864+08:00He'll Come Out When He's Ready...Really?<div style="text-align: justify;">
Don't. Just don't.</div>
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It's a common phrase that pregnant women hear from other people, "He'll come out when he's ready." But personally I find this unsupported and insensitive. Hear me out.</div>
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I think this is an insult to every mom who experienced delivering premature babies, especially those who lost their babies because of premature delivery. I highly doubt it's any baby's intention to escape from its mother's womb at a time when they can't even breathe outside it. The popularly used line is also an insult to moms who have to endure the time to wait until their baby is well enough to be discharged from the NICU, because the baby needs antibiotics to cure the infection from pooping in the womb because they were way mature but overdue.</div>
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<i>He'll come out when he's ready.</i> Pshh, no, it doesn't make any sense.</div>
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Every woman is unique, every pregnancy is different, and unless you're delivering via scheduled c-section, you don't know when you're baby is going to make its appearance in the world. My two cents: if you hear a pregnant woman complain about how long they're been waiting to give birth, or say <i>I'm just so doooone</i>, or say they want the baby out now, just be emphathetic. Not assuming, not stupid.</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54494/128/3DFBF2D343989902E4A6CC585D2FAF92.png" style="border: 0 !important; background: transparent;"/></a></div>
<center>
<a href="http://lilypie.com/"><img alt="Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers" border="0" src="http://lbyf.lilypie.com/G34Mp8.png" height="80" width="400" /></a></center>JeeanFoxyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02949901172629695062noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4616007375876402490.post-64514407603747313452016-04-03T02:16:00.002+08:002016-04-04T22:54:40.193+08:00The Calm Before the Most Awaited Storm<div style="text-align: justify;">
It's a quiet night.</div>
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Iaine is usually noisy and super <i>makulit</i>, so as I took some photos of her tonight I realized how much little time left there is that she'll be the only child causing a riot in the house. For the past 3 weeks I've been working from home and she's been my all around companion, and I realize how blessed I am to still be able to establish a strong bond with her even though I've been working away for the past 3 years. These past 3 weeks are also special to me because pretty soon I won't be bonding with only her.. her brother will finally be with us to share the cuddles, laughter, adventures, and love.</div>
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She is so excited to be an <i>Ate </i>that she asks us constantly how many days are left til he is born. As for me, I'm excited to fill both my children's hearts with all the love I can give as their mother.</div>
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I love you, my babies.</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54494/128/3DFBF2D343989902E4A6CC585D2FAF92.png" style="border: 0 !important; background: transparent;"/></a></div>
<center>
<a href="http://lilypie.com/"><img alt="Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers" border="0" src="http://lbyf.lilypie.com/G34Mp8.png" height="80" width="400" /></a></center>JeeanFoxyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02949901172629695062noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4616007375876402490.post-86378541136634650922016-03-30T18:07:00.000+08:002016-04-05T15:18:54.664+08:00Homestretch for Baby #2<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i>***A little TMI :D</i></div>
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No I haven't given birth just yet! My doc and I want to keep the bun in the oven still baking for a couple more weeks...</div>
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(long post, click on Read more for the whole thing!)<br />
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I had an appointment mid-March and yesterday I just had another one. I've moved up to weekly checkups starting next week (baby's almost full term) maybe because I raised concerns about frequent Braxton Hicks contractions that are more than 4x in an hour now (doc said it's an estimate of every 10 minutes, he saw how frequent it was during the checkup). He decided to IE me for the first time but found that I'm still closed so the onset of labor isn't very imminent as we thought. Whew!</div>
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But physically, relief is what I want all the time. There is so much pressure in the nether regions and I have symphysis pubis dysfunction (SPD) which means even the slightest movements could cause me sharp pains. 95% of the time I need to take it slow especially when getting up from bed. I need to hold on to the headboard while doing it. Even turning in bed causes me pain (not to mention those clicky sounds!) Doc witnessed this himself as he saw my gait and how I struggled to get down from the elevated exam table. When I saw him one and a half weeks ago it wasn’t this bad.</div>
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I've been having BH since the 2nd trimester and when I reached the 3rd tri it's been crazy more frequent. It only gets relieved by lying down on my side. Sitting is not enough to relieve it, in fact it kind of aggravates it more probably because my uterus is more compressed that way.</div>
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So back to my appointment yesterday, it was probably the lengthiest conversation that my husband and I had with my OB so far. As usual, my doctor was awesome. He seemed to be really concerned about me and invested in the conversation. He asked a lot of questions about my previous C-section experience because I hesitated about doing an elective this time. Yes, as crazy as it sounds, I wanna go for a VBAC. Everyone who knows me well enough knows I’m such a wimp when it comes to pain, but not only that.</div>
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I had such a horrible time during my c-section recovery I’m thinking an exploded vag might be much better that going through that kind of recovery again. I had a supportive family but my doctors and nurses were so out of reach. The hospital wasn’t the best in the city either, but that’s where my OB was accredited. Generally speaking, the medical team dismissed my post-op pain and I did not have any sort of relationship built with them which made things hard. It took me 2 weeks before I could move around independently (my husband was God-sent). 2 weeks post-partum I was still in pain but thankfully was more independent. It took me a month to recover almost fully though.</div>
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Looking back at my unpleasant c-section experience, here are the details if you’re interested (wall of text ahead!) I had an elective c-section because at my last checkup I was 1 cm and “tense”, then the week after I closed back up and was still tense. Placenta was already mature, baby was measuring a little big, and I potentially had CPD (cephalopelvic disproportion). So CS delivery it was. I didn't want to risk going through the pains of labor <i>and</i> risk the baby's life but end up having a CS after all because of all these factors.<br />
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Morning of February 6th came. I was wheeled into the OR but only until the doors. I had to walk to the operating table, lie down by myself (no one even assisted this heavily pregnant woman to prevent me from falling or something) and I watched anxiously as they prepared the room. My knees were literally shaking in fear. I knew one of them (college classmate) but she was also busy so basically no one paid close attention to me until the anesthesiologist showed up to check my vitals and administer the drugs. I felt so alone until my sister-in-law came in a little later (she’s a doctor and they knew her so she let her in). The anesthesiologist injected a drug in my IV that made my left arm feel like it was burning from my hands up, and then, nothingness. Nothing was explained to me. I just remember whimpering in pain before I just passed out and I didn’t even know I would be asleep the entire operation. I had no recall of them inserting the spinal anesthesia, no recall of the first cries of my daughter, no tugging sensations during the procedure, no nothing. I was just knocked out. <i>Although, </i>I think I have some recall of quick moments when I was awake, like being turned to my side, seeing people in green scrubs, but it all just felt like a dream. I only had a brief moment when I came to (I remember seeing green drapes everywhere and the OR light) but other than that I think I was just out of it.<br />
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I woke up in the recovery room without any idea how much time has passed (it felt like 15 minutes but I'm sure it was a couple of hours or more) but I remember the first thing I wanted to do was ask the nurses if my daughter was "complete." Silly question, but I really wanted to hear she was a healthy baby. And she was. “Well baby” is what they called her. I still couldn’t feel my legs and I was falling in and out of consciousness, but I didn’t care about myself at that point. They showed me my baby and for the first time, I kissed her. They took her back to the nursery and I was again left alone until it was time to take me back to my room. By that time, the anesthesia was already starting to wear off. The hospital had no elevators so I had to endure all the bumps and turns of the hospital ramps on the way there (the orderly weren’t very careful handling me). By the time I reached my room I was crying in pain I also felt bad for not having real skin-to-skin contact with my daughter at all, I didn’t have enough time to appreciate her features, how loudly she cried, or just simply touch her skin. I was robbed of that first few moments of a bonding experience. I spent the next 2 days in the hospital without seeing my baby and could only look at her through photos.</div>
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It was all new to me that time and I had to deal with all of that, so for this pregnancy I promised myself that things need to change: different hospital, different OB-GYN, different anesthesiologist, just different circumstances really. I was just grateful that for that operation I didn’t have to pay for my OB’s PF which we are still very thankful for.</div>
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So yesterday after my sonogram (baby is approximately weighing 6++ lbs right now, everything looks good) I made sure that my doctor heard me out and thankfully he addressed a lot of my concerns and questions so I felt better after that appointment. I asked about the possibility of my husband being there with me in the OR if I would have a CS (although my sister will be for sure because she’s a nurse and she works there), if I would be awake or asleep, how the post-op pain would be managed… Basically, all of the things that almost went wrong in my first c-section experience. I also made him discuss the success rate of VBACs in general, what to expect during labor, the ever so famous epidural, and what to expect if the labor won’t progress at all. By the way, he wants the epidural administered at 6-7 cm, which I think it too far along in the labor for me given how much of a weakling I am when it comes to pain, but he doesn’t want me to just lay there and wait for hours and hours to deliver. This I understand, because I’m at risk for uterine rupture anyway which is a-whole-nother scary possibility.</div>
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The verdict: we will be waiting it out to see if I’ll go through labor at all before my due date, and if not, it’s back to the OR for me.</div>
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It’s a lot of details to take in right now and we are considering several factors, but at the end of the day it will be painful anyway no matter how I would be delivering this baby. I’ve been stressing about labor and delivery for days now though... Just the thought of going through that pain again seriously keeps me awake at night. I’ve also developed a habit to read birth stories—the good and bad—because I really want to prepare myself for what could happen. If there’s anything I’ve learned from reading these women’s experiences is that no matter how much you want to plan your child’s birth, you just don’t know how it’s gonna turn out.</div>
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All I want is for my child to be born healthy, the both of us not having any complications. How he would be brought into this world doesn’t matter now—NSD or CS.</div>
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To all of you expecting moms who are reading this right now—here are the things I’d like you to take away from this post:</div>
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* It’s important that you build a relationship with your healthcare providers. Talk to them. Be honest. Ask questions. There is no such thing as a stupid question! Remember, this is your life and your baby’s life. Also you just don’t know which of your worries are valid so ask away. Being properly informed would help you prepare for the delivery a whole lot if there is clear communication. It will most likely turn out to be a better experience even before you actually deliver.</div>
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* Start shopping for baby stuff during the 2nd trimester when it’s easier to be mobile. Also you’d be surprised how time flies. I’m just a couple of weeks away from delivery but I still have some stuff left to buy for the baby!</div>
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* Do your research. Think about the pros and cons of the birthing facility where you’d like to deliver. Ask about admitting requirements and their admitting policies, think about yours and your family’s convenience during your hospital stay (eg. hospital layout, room type), analyze if the details of your birthing plan are actually feasible, how much does birth usually cost in that facility, what are their policies around labor/NSD vs CS deliveries, nursery policies, visiting hours, etc.</div>
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* Listen to your body. I asked my employer if I could work from home 2 weeks before my maternity leave (I was just lucky that my boss bumped it up to 3 weeks) because I just knew that by the end of March my body wouldn’t be able to handle traveling for hours. And whaddayaknow, I was just ordered by my doctor to be on bed rest this week because of the frequent BH contractions.</div>
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I will probably post an update after my next doctor’s appointment. Until then, join me in praying that I won’t go into labor just yet!</div>
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54494/128/3DFBF2D343989902E4A6CC585D2FAF92.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0px;" /></a></div>
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JeeanFoxyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02949901172629695062noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4616007375876402490.post-88902146616567272932016-02-14T04:27:00.000+08:002016-04-04T22:54:58.588+08:00Baby Number Two<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
I wrote the below on August 19, 2015:</div>
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Yesterday was unlike any other day...<br />
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It’s Wednesday morning right now. Since Sunday night I have been feeling more tired than usual, but it’s been more than a week that I’ve been feeling fatigued. I skipped work on Monday and decided it was time to seek medical assistance on Tuesday. Yesterday was Tuesday.</div>
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My mom, the amazing mother that she is, knew she was the only person who could take me to the doctor. My sister, a nurse who works there, was also kind enough to assist me during my visit. My intention was to get my blood drawn and tested for hemoglobin levels because I have lovingly embraced my anemia as something that’s just permanently there. Don’t get me wrong, I was still as concerned as any normal person should be, because you just never know what’s really going on inside your body. I’m a registered nurse so needles don’t really scare me, and yesterday I was lucky enough to have a fresh grad medical technologist gently do my blood work.</div>
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Oh I almost forgot – I had to request a pregnancy test as well using the same blood sample. I wanted to make sure whatever drugs the doc would prescribe would be safe.</div>
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As I’m typing this, Iaine just left for school and I’m staying home waiting for my husband to arrive. Why, you ask? Well the blood test results were very interesting.</div>
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I’m pregnant with my second child.</div>
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I’m still in awe as I typed that sentence. I’m pregnant with my second child!</div>
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And as I’m writing this entry I’m also simultaneously transferring media files to the computer because I want to record the first ultrasound/sonogram images later.</div>
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Going back to the story, my mom and my sister were happy to hear the news. I got home and as much as I wanted to tell my precious daughter about the big news, she was asleep. My MIL asked how the check-up went but because I haven’t told my husband yet, I didn’t want to spill the beans. Yeah I’m sentimental like that.</div>
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I called and called and called my husband… He was not answering. I felt like exploding, I needed to share this with his as soon as possible. I sat in bed, and it started to sink in, I mean truly sink in. We’ve been trying to have this baby since this year started, and now we’re here. The baby is here.</div>
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My dear Iaine was fast asleep until later afternoon, and the first thing I told her was, “You’re gonna be a big sister.” She squinted her eyes at me sideways and said, “Are you joking?” Heh. she got that sense of humor from her father.</div>
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I told her no, and pointed to my lower belly. She insisted the baby was in my gut and when the time comes that the baby comes out he’ll come out of my butt, so I had to explain. Erm, I wasn’t prepared to have that conversation.</div>
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. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .</div>
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That was the end of that, I wasn’t able to finish the entry. And now here we are. Today is February 14, Valentine’s day. Surprise! I’m now in my 3rd trimester.</div>
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Because of the demands of my work I wasn’t able to blog about this second pregnancy as often as I did during my first. I’m kind of disappointed in myself that I haven’t been able to do it, but in a way I’m happy with the privacy I have now. I remember being very specific about how many weeks I was along, and how detailed the sonogram images I posted on Facebook were. Arrows and labels and all that.</div>
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But if I really have to tell you right now, the biggest reason why I’ve decided to keep mum about this pregnancy for months was how difficult it was the first several weeks. I had almost false hopes and scary complications and I feared that it might not even turn out to be a successful pregnancy.</div>
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If my memory serves me right, immediately the day after I found out I was pregnant I made an appointment with an OB-GYN, but it wasn’t the same doctor I had before. I remember being so excited to see the diagrams and posters in her office, wondering how big the little peanut was at the moment I was there. I remember hearing Iaine’s heartbeat for the first time and I anticipated to hear the lovely sound of lub-dubs from the little one that day. But to my surprise, all there was, was a sac.</div>
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There wasn’t anything on the monitor, it was just a black oval where the baby was supposed to be. I felt like my heart was going to burst. We were trying to have a baby for so long and it felt like my bubble just burst. The doctor wasn’t confident it was “compatible,” meaning she wasn’t sure it was really a pregnancy. I was utterly heartbroken.</div>
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She didn’t even prescribe me any meds to make sure that if there was gonna be a baby, it would survive. I had so many questions in my mind, it just didn’t feel right to me. The blood work said I was pregnant. I’m having a baby.</div>
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She told me to come back after two weeks to see if there was any progress and there was. At that time we finally saw the little one, but no heartbeat. And not only that, she didn’t believe my LMP date and insisted that I must have had my period much later. At that appointment she decided that I was measuring a couple of weeks behind.</div>
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I felt like there was progress but I was upset. I didn’t want my husband to know I was losing hope, but even I was starting to believe the doctor at that point that it might not happen. It also didn’t help that she wasn’t very accommodating, and spoke to me like she memorized a script. The only difference was the she prescribed some vitamins before I left her office and requested some lab work. We were asked to come back again after a few weeks. I was growing impatient.</div>
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Before the next appointment, I started to experience some spotting (sorry, TMI) and I based on the lab results, I had an infection. I was scared all day, every day, until the next check-up. It was a bad idea to Google (lots of miscarriage stories) but I also found comfort in some other people’s experiences.</div>
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We were back at the clinic and to no surprise, I did have an infection. On a lighter note however, there was a silver lining.</div>
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We finally heard the heart beat.</div>
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I burst into tears on the examination table. It was so embarrassing that the other patients might have heard me from the other side of the wall but I was just so relieved to know that there WAS a baby and it was thriving. The doctor, as uptight as she was, spoke to me calmly and assured me that the baby was okay. It was going to be okay.</div>
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I was sent home with more meds and was told to come back a month after.</div>
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I really, really wanted to tell the world that day but my husband and I decided to delay the announcement until after my sister gave birth. She was in her 3rd trimester at that time and it wasn’t really our thing to steal the thunder.</div>
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Weeks passed and I started to gradually notice the changes in my body. No one believed me when I told them that my belly was getting rounder, but a few months later the same people were surprised that I was indeed carrying big.</div>
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I continued to travel and work. I kept working the same hours, same shift, but because I was busy and the doctor was busy, it was a challenge booking another appointment. My sister recommended her doctor who was male, but after some time my husband was convinced that it was time to change doctors. He wasn’t comfortable with the idea but I made up my mind and switched to my sister’s OB-GYN. It turned out to be a really good decision.</div>
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His clinic is smaller and he has more patients, there’s no parking space and being the in-demand doctor that he is, it was also challenging to catch up with his availability. My husband and I had to skip work 1 day just so we could see him at the next soonest possible time for that first appointment.</div>
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We waited for hours, I couldn’t help but fall asleep at home, until I awoke and received a message from his secretary that he just arrived at the clinic. My husband and I rushed to his office, hopeful that we would catch him this time. And we did!</div>
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To my relief, that first appointment with him went really well. Much better than I expected actually, maybe because of the disappointments I had seeing the doctor before him. He took careful note of my medical history, was genuinely curious about what led to my c-section, he believed my LMP date and assured me that the baby was compatible with the date and had to move my expected date of delivery a couple of weeks earlier than we were first told! He really listened to me and has maintained the same good impression since then. But I guess the best part about that first appointment was finding out the baby’s gender.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwfThbr5XY7wzXUn9TQZHZ6-ZmQkRh4KNiwG8WerQXUWVbH293itMSkZu_RsgNTuxGXDFs6ppNUNom5RbvwB_q7rW-bO4PtkcWLcqMg-dcN9S6w9Ou09aDlK0euY2dZTyFBmauqlFKWmLp/s1600/january+checkup.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwfThbr5XY7wzXUn9TQZHZ6-ZmQkRh4KNiwG8WerQXUWVbH293itMSkZu_RsgNTuxGXDFs6ppNUNom5RbvwB_q7rW-bO4PtkcWLcqMg-dcN9S6w9Ou09aDlK0euY2dZTyFBmauqlFKWmLp/s320/january+checkup.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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WE ARE HAVING A BOY!</div>
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My husband wasn’t beside me when the doctor confirmed it, and I had to call him over to look at the screen. We saw his boy package on the grainy screen and my husband was ecstatic. We will finally have the baby boy we’ve been waiting for! Even Iaine was vocal about wanting a baby brother so we were so excited to share the news with her and everyone in the family.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoMTl510hmeJ5R6nItbuVPmFH2N2nEA5PbP-s3GsyorKHnQSAVORrKXqOnQNNmlKRQoKxCWRhjdp2CFJHZQMLUNwQa3qTXI_U8ScZ63oLlrl4ov0e5mKwKbru7sEs-rz630UN1WD5H_kne/s1600/congrats.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoMTl510hmeJ5R6nItbuVPmFH2N2nEA5PbP-s3GsyorKHnQSAVORrKXqOnQNNmlKRQoKxCWRhjdp2CFJHZQMLUNwQa3qTXI_U8ScZ63oLlrl4ov0e5mKwKbru7sEs-rz630UN1WD5H_kne/s320/congrats.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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So far the appointments have been going well so I haven’t switch doctors since then. The baby is on the right track and he’s still a boy (my doctor has a sense of humor). Now that I’m in the final stretch it’s like it’s only days that go back until the next appointment. As I’m typing this, tomorrow we’ll get to see our baby boy again and it’s unbelievable how drastic his changes are each time.</div>
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If there’s anything you can learn from this part of the story so far, you have to listen to your instincts and switch to another doctor if you have doubts about their decision making-- especially if they don’t listen to you. Remember it’s your body and you know it better than anyone else.</div>
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So the baby is okay, but how am I now? I can’t put into words how thankful I am that we are blessed with this baby boy, but with that comes sacrifice. This pregnancy isn’t taking it lightly on me and in fact I think I had it easier with Iaine. With this one I’ve had nausea and vomiting even in the 2nd trimester so there wasn’t really a “honeymoon stage,” and since December I’ve been on muscle relaxants to prevent pre-term labor. Not a day goes by that I don’t feel exhausted and even at the oddest time of the day I can just doze off. And yeah, Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction is no joke. It feels like your crotch/groin is about to fall off or rip apart and that’s how I feel like 80-90% of the time. I’ve taken days off from work during really bad attacks because I couldn’t get up from bed or walk. No wait—the right term is waddle. The penguin is my spirit animal once again.</div>
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Errr… I had to take a break from writing… My little one is having a party in my uterus. Which is uncomfortable, but I don’t mind. He can breakdance all he wants in there because it makes this momma feel reassured that he’s doing okay. I’m a bundle of nerves when I don’t feel him move as much.</div>
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So what now? It’s the waiting game until I pop. Am I terrified? Hell yes. Giving birth is probably the most painful experience I’ve had and to know that I need to go through it again terrifies me. But am I excited? Yes to infinity. Yes to a million times infinity.</div>
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It’s Sunday morning right now (4AM actually) and later in the day we’ll be going shopping for the little boy for the first time. Maybe some blankets, pillows, newborn clothes, a new stroller? I’m also getting a new crib which I’m buying online. I’ve also started cleaning out our wardrobe and drawers to make more room for the baby’s stuff, and pretty soon we’ll be rearranging the room as well. It’s tough to do all this and prepare for the birth when I look like I swallowed a watermelon whole but it’s all worth it.</div>
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I plan to update this blog more often starting today until I give birth. Thanks for reading this wall of text and may I ask that you please join me in praying for the health and safety of me and my son on this journey of the start of his life.</div>
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54494/128/3DFBF2D343989902E4A6CC585D2FAF92.png" style="border: 0 !important; background: transparent;"/></a></div>
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<a href="http://lilypie.com/"><img alt="Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers" border="0" src="http://lbyf.lilypie.com/G34Mp8.png" height="80" width="400" /></a></center>JeeanFoxyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02949901172629695062noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4616007375876402490.post-58378129221343555412014-09-30T23:09:00.003+08:002016-04-03T02:46:39.038+08:00A Runner's SoundtrackI'm going back to running this October so I thought I'd share a list of amazing feel-good, feel-strong songs that you can listen to while on the road to fitness. Here you go:<br />
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<td class="xl68" height="20" style="height: 15.0pt; width: 163pt;" width="217"><b>SONG</b></td>
<td class="xl65" style="border-left: none; width: 139pt;" width="185"><b>ARTIST</b></td>
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<td class="xl69" height="20" style="border-top: none; height: 15.0pt;">You Shook Me
All Night Long</td>
<td class="xl66" style="border-left: none; border-top: none;">AC/DC</td>
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<td class="xl69" height="20" style="border-top: none; height: 15.0pt;">Pure Shores</td>
<td class="xl66" style="border-left: none; border-top: none;">All Saints</td>
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<td class="xl70" height="20" style="border-top: none; height: 15.0pt;">One
Day/Reckoning Song (Wankelmut Remix)</td>
<td class="xl66" style="border-left: none; border-top: none;">Asaf Avidan & the
Mojos</td>
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<td class="xl69" height="20" style="border-top: none; height: 15.0pt;">All The Small
Things</td>
<td class="xl66" style="border-left: none; border-top: none;">Blink 182</td>
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<td class="xl69" height="20" style="border-top: none; height: 15.0pt;">What's My Age
Again</td>
<td class="xl66" style="border-left: none; border-top: none;">Blink 182</td>
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<td class="xl69" height="20" style="border-top: none; height: 15.0pt;">Jump Rope</td>
<td class="xl66" style="border-left: none; border-top: none;">Blue October</td>
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<td class="xl69" height="20" style="border-top: none; height: 15.0pt;">Better Now</td>
<td class="xl66" style="border-left: none; border-top: none;">Collective Soul</td>
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<td class="xl69" height="20" style="border-top: none; height: 15.0pt;">Gangsta's
Paradise</td>
<td class="xl66" style="border-left: none; border-top: none;">Coolio</td>
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<td class="xl69" height="20" style="border-top: none; height: 15.0pt;">Survivor</td>
<td class="xl66" style="border-left: none; border-top: none;">Destiny's Child</td>
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<td class="xl69" height="20" style="border-top: none; height: 15.0pt;">Holiday</td>
<td class="xl66" style="border-left: none; border-top: none;">Dizzee Rascal</td>
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<td class="xl69" height="20" style="border-top: none; height: 15.0pt;">Hot Right Now</td>
<td class="xl66" style="border-left: none; border-top: none;">DJ Fresh ft. Rita Ora</td>
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<tr height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">
<td class="xl69" height="20" style="border-top: none; height: 15.0pt;">Not Afraid</td>
<td class="xl66" style="border-left: none; border-top: none;">Eminem</td>
</tr>
<tr height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">
<td class="xl69" height="20" style="border-top: none; height: 15.0pt;">Keep On Movin</td>
<td class="xl66" style="border-left: none; border-top: none;">Five</td>
</tr>
<tr height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">
<td class="xl69" height="20" style="border-top: none; height: 15.0pt;">Good Feeling</td>
<td class="xl66" style="border-left: none; border-top: none;">Flo Rida ft. Sia</td>
</tr>
<tr height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">
<td class="xl69" height="20" style="border-top: none; height: 15.0pt;">Feel Good Inc</td>
<td class="xl66" style="border-left: none; border-top: none;">Gorillaz</td>
</tr>
<tr height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">
<td class="xl69" height="20" style="border-top: none; height: 15.0pt;">The Fighter</td>
<td class="xl66" style="border-left: none; border-top: none;">Gym Class Heroes</td>
</tr>
<tr height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">
<td class="xl69" height="20" style="border-top: none; height: 15.0pt;">On Top of the
World</td>
<td class="xl66" style="border-left: none; border-top: none;">Imagine Dragons</td>
</tr>
<tr height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">
<td class="xl69" height="20" style="border-top: none; height: 15.0pt;">Don't Give Up</td>
<td class="xl66" style="border-left: none; border-top: none;">Kevin Rudolf</td>
</tr>
<tr height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">
<td class="xl69" height="20" style="border-top: none; height: 15.0pt;">Take A Minute</td>
<td class="xl66" style="border-left: none; border-top: none;">K'NAAN</td>
</tr>
<tr height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">
<td class="xl69" height="20" style="border-top: none; height: 15.0pt;">Numb</td>
<td class="xl66" style="border-left: none; border-top: none;">Linkin Park</td>
</tr>
<tr height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">
<td class="xl69" height="20" style="border-top: none; height: 15.0pt;">Can't Hold Us</td>
<td class="xl66" style="border-left: none; border-top: none;">Macklemore & Ryan
Lewis</td>
</tr>
<tr height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">
<td class="xl69" height="20" style="border-top: none; height: 15.0pt;">Squeeze</td>
<td class="xl66" style="border-left: none; border-top: none;">Man Like Me</td>
</tr>
<tr height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">
<td class="xl69" height="20" style="border-top: none; height: 15.0pt;">Shake It</td>
<td class="xl66" style="border-left: none; border-top: none;">Metro Station</td>
</tr>
<tr height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">
<td class="xl69" height="20" style="border-top: none; height: 15.0pt;">You Get What
You Give</td>
<td class="xl66" style="border-left: none; border-top: none;">New Radicals</td>
</tr>
<tr height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">
<td class="xl69" height="20" style="border-top: none; height: 15.0pt;">Smells Like
Teen Spirit</td>
<td class="xl66" style="border-left: none; border-top: none;">Nirvana</td>
</tr>
<tr height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">
<td class="xl69" height="20" style="border-top: none; height: 15.0pt;">Happy</td>
<td class="xl66" style="border-left: none; border-top: none;">Pharrell Williams</td>
</tr>
<tr height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">
<td class="xl69" height="20" style="border-top: none; height: 15.0pt;">Stand</td>
<td class="xl66" style="border-left: none; border-top: none;">Rascal Flatts</td>
</tr>
<tr height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">
<td class="xl69" height="20" style="border-top: none; height: 15.0pt;">Can't Stop</td>
<td class="xl66" style="border-left: none; border-top: none;">Red Hot Chili Peppers</td>
</tr>
<tr height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">
<td class="xl69" height="20" style="border-top: none; height: 15.0pt;">I Can</td>
<td class="xl66" style="border-left: none; border-top: none;">Steven Cooper</td>
</tr>
<tr height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">
<td class="xl69" height="20" style="border-top: none; height: 15.0pt;">Born to Do</td>
<td class="xl66" style="border-left: none; border-top: none;">Steven Cooper</td>
</tr>
<tr height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">
<td class="xl69" height="20" style="border-top: none; height: 15.0pt;">Greyhound</td>
<td class="xl66" style="border-left: none; border-top: none;">Swedish House Mafia</td>
</tr>
<tr height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">
<td class="xl69" height="20" style="border-top: none; height: 15.0pt;">Chop Suey</td>
<td class="xl66" style="border-left: none; border-top: none;">System of a Down</td>
</tr>
<tr height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">
<td class="xl69" height="20" style="border-top: none; height: 15.0pt;">Somebody Told
Me</td>
<td class="xl66" style="border-left: none; border-top: none;">The Killers</td>
</tr>
<tr height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">
<td class="xl69" height="20" style="border-top: none; height: 15.0pt;">Flesh and Bone</td>
<td class="xl66" style="border-left: none; border-top: none;">The Killers</td>
</tr>
<tr height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">
<td class="xl69" height="20" style="border-top: none; height: 15.0pt;">Young Blood</td>
<td class="xl66" style="border-left: none; border-top: none;">The Naked and Famous</td>
</tr>
<tr height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">
<td class="xl69" height="20" style="border-top: none; height: 15.0pt;">Firestarter</td>
<td class="xl66" style="border-left: none; border-top: none;">The Prodigy</td>
</tr>
<tr height="20" style="height: 15.0pt;">
<td class="xl69" height="20" style="border-top: none; height: 15.0pt;">Hall of Fame</td>
<td class="xl66" style="border-left: none; border-top: none;">The Script</td>
</tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />HAPPY RUNNING!<br /><div style="text-align: right;">
<img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/146/6484A2B0DAC3259165257AF0CB18EEC0.png" /></div>
<center>
<a href="http://lilypie.com/"><img src="http://lbyf.lilypie.com/RVuSp8.png" width="400" height="80" border="0" alt="Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers" /></a></center>JeeanFoxyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02949901172629695062noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4616007375876402490.post-1458743000943147532014-09-29T21:52:00.004+08:002014-11-07T20:09:41.714+08:002014 Wishlist<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>Not begging, just wishing!</b><br />
<b><br /></b>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGAsTJwmJIZLmemxGp7fRDbVKH7ySLGbR5x7J5c-nhos_lKyiho2P12tLny0ShqCwoVDeybq7L-8oEOkBmKgkF8Bh951yAWbauL0hPKRhXOFX5HfVKOlmDd-CUI0nRRHpbSmKKtHKY8AiD/s1600/Fujifilm+Instax+Share+Smartphone+Printer.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGAsTJwmJIZLmemxGp7fRDbVKH7ySLGbR5x7J5c-nhos_lKyiho2P12tLny0ShqCwoVDeybq7L-8oEOkBmKgkF8Bh951yAWbauL0hPKRhXOFX5HfVKOlmDd-CUI0nRRHpbSmKKtHKY8AiD/s1600/Fujifilm+Instax+Share+Smartphone+Printer.jpg" height="193" width="320" /></a></div>
Fujifilm Instax Share Smartphone Printer<br />
...<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjErqobHYPPzN4bVd-p1cbwK-5zEo3vihthhBhmDIRgfhPMqOIPTslUh7B5uyXgU5RAs1PiGl7SGhsCE5AWDpaC5D3_Oan4zlTO0pj1ucG0-INu15te4wunX4j4Xfp_n3JTG8ATShWZaVqd/s1600/ray-ban+clubmaster.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjErqobHYPPzN4bVd-p1cbwK-5zEo3vihthhBhmDIRgfhPMqOIPTslUh7B5uyXgU5RAs1PiGl7SGhsCE5AWDpaC5D3_Oan4zlTO0pj1ucG0-INu15te4wunX4j4Xfp_n3JTG8ATShWZaVqd/s1600/ray-ban+clubmaster.jpg" height="193" width="320" /></a></div>
Ray-Ban Clubmaster<br />
...<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKf29Gy6qoxmiVyXUPDgxVQ8ic5Ar53dDGO1JKDecDKOtEFYGrWKwR7BKjN791Tah3jCZUV4QkUx10e5_eyrYSOoDk4vIqu5Kf4QZjsModhVXcX9gI2i6856G1CS_k3yLn5wEaDVabwN2Q/s1600/Samsung++16000+mAh+powerbank.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKf29Gy6qoxmiVyXUPDgxVQ8ic5Ar53dDGO1JKDecDKOtEFYGrWKwR7BKjN791Tah3jCZUV4QkUx10e5_eyrYSOoDk4vIqu5Kf4QZjsModhVXcX9gI2i6856G1CS_k3yLn5wEaDVabwN2Q/s1600/Samsung++16000+mAh+powerbank.jpg" height="193" width="320" /></a></div>
<strike> Samsung 16000 mAh power bank OR</strike><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjs4yOyhQe9IT99C1LQjbbzEMxeNm5UEffxYLq7Jh1aqZbv86l43NY2mdLcHqJIQ6lv96Ne4X2Ue3vylpuCw43viLJ2DfQeREj8PyDWK2YS6VZfIBYQuNDeaTJpPd5X8DI_DxP0gPlf1Qmj/s1600/Samsung+9000+mAh.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjs4yOyhQe9IT99C1LQjbbzEMxeNm5UEffxYLq7Jh1aqZbv86l43NY2mdLcHqJIQ6lv96Ne4X2Ue3vylpuCw43viLJ2DfQeREj8PyDWK2YS6VZfIBYQuNDeaTJpPd5X8DI_DxP0gPlf1Qmj/s1600/Samsung+9000+mAh.jpg" height="193" width="320" /></a></div>
<strike>Samsung 9000 mAh power bank</strike></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
...</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxaIb_AGebfZKmB1nnKoJ65FBr3fQGpxZBFiQrH1wUZM3aGAg_gUZ7asYBxt5wZvAKg33Xw-ANwf4tsaBIZFQKYofGnhQRNYu7T0pZTX83NyaRb0-s0V14gRCBGdHzCvcgJ8TH-cJyLr_l/s1600/Acer+Aspire+V3-772G-9460+Gaming+Laptop.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxaIb_AGebfZKmB1nnKoJ65FBr3fQGpxZBFiQrH1wUZM3aGAg_gUZ7asYBxt5wZvAKg33Xw-ANwf4tsaBIZFQKYofGnhQRNYu7T0pZTX83NyaRb0-s0V14gRCBGdHzCvcgJ8TH-cJyLr_l/s1600/Acer+Aspire+V3-772G-9460+Gaming+Laptop.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Acer Aspire V3-772G-9460 Gaming Laptop Intel Core i7 4702MQ (2.20GHz) 12GB Memory 1TB HDD 120GB SSD NVIDIA GeForce GTX 760M 2GB 17.3" Windows 8 64-bit</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
...</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPcFW9HbBGVbQZ1u7sVes3NXbcxxI_MoyqxX7zk_0oYTc0HURLZT14BZOk9dO0k9qchyphenhyphen-9hCwgwqtVlSUSg03yc-xoB26-cOOGQ9R81MmxwY2raDY4ez56IAZ9q-Su3fmxlztzwAkzYljo/s1600/bora.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPcFW9HbBGVbQZ1u7sVes3NXbcxxI_MoyqxX7zk_0oYTc0HURLZT14BZOk9dO0k9qchyphenhyphen-9hCwgwqtVlSUSg03yc-xoB26-cOOGQ9R81MmxwY2raDY4ez56IAZ9q-Su3fmxlztzwAkzYljo/s1600/bora.jpg" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
A trip to Boracay / Puerto Galera / El Nido / Balesin</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
...</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8BJMcNfM7vkn1WZqvM-z_QrAGbtFQsaTBdIqTUwqmq3nr41jiAVRgLpQb46bbtbOlYjiTlZI125kbSv_37YfIfeIKRp5D64y1DKEMUTHejAnSpeZm3h_vwNS82AGT0L2Y-9_VhVUXQviU/s1600/download+(1).jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8BJMcNfM7vkn1WZqvM-z_QrAGbtFQsaTBdIqTUwqmq3nr41jiAVRgLpQb46bbtbOlYjiTlZI125kbSv_37YfIfeIKRp5D64y1DKEMUTHejAnSpeZm3h_vwNS82AGT0L2Y-9_VhVUXQviU/s1600/download+(1).jpg" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
A dupe of Kate Middleton's engagement ring</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
...</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibDemb_JhIqM0fV6cVm7u0PKL5THSroTMnm_d0OWLhDjMjhEWKaVPhLoOi2zwFBt0m4V3SNWETaYhrWDLzzDFnWIYhzhilPGqVL8qQGTudI7W8iqddNiFx9pMt6rW_goz3QAFrqW9myXN0/s1600/iptl-manila-2014.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibDemb_JhIqM0fV6cVm7u0PKL5THSroTMnm_d0OWLhDjMjhEWKaVPhLoOi2zwFBt0m4V3SNWETaYhrWDLzzDFnWIYhzhilPGqVL8qQGTudI7W8iqddNiFx9pMt6rW_goz3QAFrqW9myXN0/s1600/iptl-manila-2014.jpg" height="320" width="256" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<strike>An IPTL VIP Seat</strike></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
...</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUcmpHSH_pgjWxcGYXqFaabHe72lufzifDZyp562dKdux8hEHuIhxco6poWuBZAXsICo5FWpFxH_kxawz72C5kKCM69eMbz31R60zCmIsmPFMsNSNakXXfaV0nkcUrbsr3DEBinRm7i4t2/s1600/LCplanetsblack.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUcmpHSH_pgjWxcGYXqFaabHe72lufzifDZyp562dKdux8hEHuIhxco6poWuBZAXsICo5FWpFxH_kxawz72C5kKCM69eMbz31R60zCmIsmPFMsNSNakXXfaV0nkcUrbsr3DEBinRm7i4t2/s1600/LCplanetsblack.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
a black Longchamp Planetes bag</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
...</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMuPHBE27gN_uh01l_EMMcaYURAQRZUxW_kDFMngNZBSCaMZ8J27A-qd5_Vscgs45iGp0cOE2bRAMhyFUmSi7HCEXzdCa1UCxtnCX10a0ipkkrYXMByt7gpuSgtXW-CFqDHgQ10LP4B-Vc/s1600/light-brown-hair-with-highlights-ideas.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMuPHBE27gN_uh01l_EMMcaYURAQRZUxW_kDFMngNZBSCaMZ8J27A-qd5_Vscgs45iGp0cOE2bRAMhyFUmSi7HCEXzdCa1UCxtnCX10a0ipkkrYXMByt7gpuSgtXW-CFqDHgQ10LP4B-Vc/s1600/light-brown-hair-with-highlights-ideas.jpg" height="320" width="222" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
A trip to the salon to achieve this hair color</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
...</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjY-iHSQU7GaCMOEB1fQ8RZhpd1hxT861Z_2HgZQOUPEbRB674N86AeO7CThqGD_8i0F2s5bTL_Ytb43JMbLYBJFj4UMizfGSkyhLdVCXwBHEAfXj0J413-0Z603SwehkY2HYCZcNO8toQ2/s1600/Maria-Sharapova-Custom-Nike-Zoom-Vapor-9-Tour_large.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjY-iHSQU7GaCMOEB1fQ8RZhpd1hxT861Z_2HgZQOUPEbRB674N86AeO7CThqGD_8i0F2s5bTL_Ytb43JMbLYBJFj4UMizfGSkyhLdVCXwBHEAfXj0J413-0Z603SwehkY2HYCZcNO8toQ2/s1600/Maria-Sharapova-Custom-Nike-Zoom-Vapor-9-Tour_large.jpg" height="228" width="320" /></a></div>
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnF5qiS2NRztYbJrKc8wVxh3vyBzBenuCMACVwxJcTrNGXgjr4O_O0ux026NDbZ3aYK-cp4KcO-j75kzMkClznzG_pmofKENCy2ul0M7pvMnlGcLDjTytSRw6QYuII3WfQD0tJPB6pb1ZS/s1600/Maria-Sharapova-Nike-Free-3-Hybrid_large.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnF5qiS2NRztYbJrKc8wVxh3vyBzBenuCMACVwxJcTrNGXgjr4O_O0ux026NDbZ3aYK-cp4KcO-j75kzMkClznzG_pmofKENCy2ul0M7pvMnlGcLDjTytSRw6QYuII3WfQD0tJPB6pb1ZS/s1600/Maria-Sharapova-Nike-Free-3-Hybrid_large.jpg" height="228" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Nike shoes - Maria Sharapova line</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
...</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJuMFwoqgqvXCn81GzEC-RkzSJuIMKO94A7-HFgNmp_gOjuEwgbbmSQfpSemxocPm7M6crD5YZksLcvGX-uVvy40rmU-DI3C1GyHAryC80gReJAy5lZGqgrpfZcsjuUX_l1NN0tM89aEJz/s1600/Nike+Golf+Bag.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJuMFwoqgqvXCn81GzEC-RkzSJuIMKO94A7-HFgNmp_gOjuEwgbbmSQfpSemxocPm7M6crD5YZksLcvGX-uVvy40rmU-DI3C1GyHAryC80gReJAy5lZGqgrpfZcsjuUX_l1NN0tM89aEJz/s1600/Nike+Golf+Bag.jpg" height="106" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Nike golf tote<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQwHlH8O4WhU6Bp8-aPcLQ1ktEloLXPdcMMqaI3Bzj2UOD8sebNpbB6BjbYixUh18ZdsDtkLcdmD5zCw9-pGULwt0yowN01geKAWpWuKBQf-Ln_qSRgBP0G_E39S9MeAVIlaJL9WOQX4BM/s1600/Nike-Graphic-Reversible-Tote-Bag-BA4879_713_A.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQwHlH8O4WhU6Bp8-aPcLQ1ktEloLXPdcMMqaI3Bzj2UOD8sebNpbB6BjbYixUh18ZdsDtkLcdmD5zCw9-pGULwt0yowN01geKAWpWuKBQf-Ln_qSRgBP0G_E39S9MeAVIlaJL9WOQX4BM/s1600/Nike-Graphic-Reversible-Tote-Bag-BA4879_713_A.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
<strike>neon green Nike reversible tote</strike></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMnsAHq8JJql83D5i4eo-lOGcYu-m9a7T37SqbtK9UVb5UQlzyadAPTd6v3bsxcjtFDaI9BUAnE9SsEr_0PM1wbO-Y54uP2GONtWSMgoeZy3HCoSfVU8zH3fu7W-iD3b1giUrF9MP9iep5/s1600/475.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMnsAHq8JJql83D5i4eo-lOGcYu-m9a7T37SqbtK9UVb5UQlzyadAPTd6v3bsxcjtFDaI9BUAnE9SsEr_0PM1wbO-Y54uP2GONtWSMgoeZy3HCoSfVU8zH3fu7W-iD3b1giUrF9MP9iep5/s1600/475.jpg" height="320" width="213" /></a></div>
<strike>pink Nike Big Mouth bottle</strike><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiT6ECfTFbjvyS5ABqhAWy0Jw-9_WjeiiJq9jdVxh_uk6nUKxyqohzDDo6DMr4qrILDponN-rK6CYblX-ib771D3ZTAkr4OzuHfkgTOHILUSS3sYPE2aGWv5T9-6pzGlR4rJ-cn9YdQ0_mT/s1600/4144_Nike+Storm+Slim+Waist+Pack+grey+bolt.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiT6ECfTFbjvyS5ABqhAWy0Jw-9_WjeiiJq9jdVxh_uk6nUKxyqohzDDo6DMr4qrILDponN-rK6CYblX-ib771D3ZTAkr4OzuHfkgTOHILUSS3sYPE2aGWv5T9-6pzGlR4rJ-cn9YdQ0_mT/s1600/4144_Nike+Storm+Slim+Waist+Pack+grey+bolt.jpg" /></a></div>
<strike>Nike Storm Slim waistpack</strike><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJ79I9byqcrLHsW0AhAEoKpP-gsYU6mWcPK8U7fTtRqBzNun3W1Bf72YcwT9t4PVBOSBJNoKieVbH2McevOxr8TZOF9CB2hBPcu9EpyRQ8fhd_tuh8HnF79he5vR6scs9OO7JRqIcueFkV/s1600/pl2125606-rose_red_samsung_mega_6_3_leather_cases_custom_phone_covers.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJ79I9byqcrLHsW0AhAEoKpP-gsYU6mWcPK8U7fTtRqBzNun3W1Bf72YcwT9t4PVBOSBJNoKieVbH2McevOxr8TZOF9CB2hBPcu9EpyRQ8fhd_tuh8HnF79he5vR6scs9OO7JRqIcueFkV/s1600/pl2125606-rose_red_samsung_mega_6_3_leather_cases_custom_phone_covers.jpg" height="213" width="320" /></a></div>
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A pink Samsung Mega case just like this (better if there's a giant G on it!)</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5ipHBVmsy1qF94Fc-YJZUbaVZ26CXHVxQEOIaFKO2NGMOv-zaAxigy7Xv6zTRk4Uv5Cv16qa5iGoM6FhsYIZjoQS2drdRpyLYM4q2rE_J93d7X4JEtEDiu_mW9LttNq_rZlttWFNDLMZT/s1600/Stylash.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5ipHBVmsy1qF94Fc-YJZUbaVZ26CXHVxQEOIaFKO2NGMOv-zaAxigy7Xv6zTRk4Uv5Cv16qa5iGoM6FhsYIZjoQS2drdRpyLYM4q2rE_J93d7X4JEtEDiu_mW9LttNq_rZlttWFNDLMZT/s1600/Stylash.jpg" /></a></div>
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eyelash extensions</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRABpiLU1PJKX-9QlFvV14A9HQ3cRZMYtgB5Hi-Zfn_4k3iQ3lcqv4lvbL01nyOupoBYCn_nDtB_9tiz6DdjI3XqzG7hLCGB_YL1cZEg30sX9Mt4gS9CQbrN5Espt4cjGlCL83Lo6EaA5E/s1600/750557Christian-Louboutin-Pigalle-100-Stiletto-557_LRG.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRABpiLU1PJKX-9QlFvV14A9HQ3cRZMYtgB5Hi-Zfn_4k3iQ3lcqv4lvbL01nyOupoBYCn_nDtB_9tiz6DdjI3XqzG7hLCGB_YL1cZEg30sX9Mt4gS9CQbrN5Espt4cjGlCL83Lo6EaA5E/s1600/750557Christian-Louboutin-Pigalle-100-Stiletto-557_LRG.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
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new black office stilettos like this pair of Christian Louboutins<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvc7VpNZSSGB3GVtqJdsrWZOeqPpBCq1No99Asjd9kYKwleF7hnWEGr0LLDeBKegJWXtVlL2_BbeQI_YTg3X6DwgrcWN-RzYjaEex8gtLGtkgk-rA__qoh9YC1cdY_9E8ZEKzWPu1QxCzo/s1600/$T2eC16ZHJH8E9qSEWyuPBRbQutLre!~~60_35.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvc7VpNZSSGB3GVtqJdsrWZOeqPpBCq1No99Asjd9kYKwleF7hnWEGr0LLDeBKegJWXtVlL2_BbeQI_YTg3X6DwgrcWN-RzYjaEex8gtLGtkgk-rA__qoh9YC1cdY_9E8ZEKzWPu1QxCzo/s1600/$T2eC16ZHJH8E9qSEWyuPBRbQutLre!~~60_35.JPG" /></a></div>
black/gold G-Shock watch</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikolhJrhgabjALa5PCDA9cJ9B__zsKvRf18LfSdLLvhRVUlkDEubSTSNwmGiueatc1ewQdwab8DYRv2Y41G3s7rMMpXkFzVJC9lpoYWltu3i5SQc61uS-iDhA4FL2Sh0DzXFqPysn7kitX/s1600/dinner.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikolhJrhgabjALa5PCDA9cJ9B__zsKvRf18LfSdLLvhRVUlkDEubSTSNwmGiueatc1ewQdwab8DYRv2Y41G3s7rMMpXkFzVJC9lpoYWltu3i5SQc61uS-iDhA4FL2Sh0DzXFqPysn7kitX/s1600/dinner.jpg" /></a></div>
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a susprise romantic dinner</div>
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...</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUNTmhgmZ55MeIZ73K1SfV6HRwuBUT384PWZ4yVVmIch3rQDq9R-JeYnKRDnbiBCRNh9JAPc3LXW32AF6GUVwy7o0UNy4oue7TDHxrAbs6eu_9EGdQn5uNkeKXt16-WVtBZDEEjVp2izB6/s1600/images.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUNTmhgmZ55MeIZ73K1SfV6HRwuBUT384PWZ4yVVmIch3rQDq9R-JeYnKRDnbiBCRNh9JAPc3LXW32AF6GUVwy7o0UNy4oue7TDHxrAbs6eu_9EGdQn5uNkeKXt16-WVtBZDEEjVp2izB6/s1600/images.jpg" /></a></div>
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a trip to Paris</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRwN5AMOWt9YpYB3J_IkfNLij-xdx_RSbso4ABa96mpmY3QQskAW5D_2uLPkSlXNA9X1rcKv1E-wZj0_fm-J8ZNQAZ7bdti3Qx5GFL43YUnnjr3JizZuja6PdEk7n9G0fiUSyRl5yFzI4N/s1600/Rome-Italy_2501454b.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRwN5AMOWt9YpYB3J_IkfNLij-xdx_RSbso4ABa96mpmY3QQskAW5D_2uLPkSlXNA9X1rcKv1E-wZj0_fm-J8ZNQAZ7bdti3Qx5GFL43YUnnjr3JizZuja6PdEk7n9G0fiUSyRl5yFzI4N/s1600/Rome-Italy_2501454b.jpg" height="199" width="320" /></a></div>
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a trip to Rome</div>
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...</div>
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A list that I'll keep updating... =)</div>
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Happy thoughts!</div>
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<img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/146/6484A2B0DAC3259165257AF0CB18EEC0.png" /></div>
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<a href="http://lilypie.com/"><img alt="Lilypie Second Birthday tickers" border="0" src="http://lb2f.lilypie.com/fJ3yp8.png" height="80" width="400" /></a></center>
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