Drowning

First of all, I am blogging from my smartphone because I can. Second of all it's 12:51 in the morning and I can't sleep. And third, almost 2 hours ago it was still June and I must say the month ended like crap.

I just felt like crap the entire day, you know? Even with Iaine pooping less frequently than usual and kept being the cheerful child that she is, I still felt so shitty and exhausted. Maybe I wanted to get out and get some sun, or I wanted some sort of spa treatment, ot retail therapy, or just sleep for hours just to compensate for the sleepless nights Iaine's been giving me. She usually sleeps past 12 midnight and I know it's not a good thing (I can see your nose flaring from here) but there's really nothing I can do about it. She's like an energizer bunny, she'll play for as long as she wants to. Believe me, I don't like it one bit. Sleeping late gives me a headache when I wake up and makes me cranky, and in the past couple of weeks, that has happened like 95 percent of the time (talking about the headache). I don't know if it's just PMS, but whatever it is I'm not happy about it.

I did get a chance to go out today, by the way.I just finished sterilizing Iaine's bottles and I realized that we ran out of distilled water. So I took a bath and dressed up, walked to the nearest store with her stroller in tow and purchased 2 big jars of distilled water, 6Liters each (Iaine's still having diaper issues.) And whaddaya know, it was raining super hard when I checked out. Like, thunderstorm-hard. I took Iaine's stroller by the way so I wouldn't have to carry the jars all the way home with my bare hands, but I guess what happened today could have been just as difficult doing that under the bright sun. Like I said, there was a thunderstorm, and I had to push the stroller with one hand and hold my umbrella with the other.

Maneuvering the stroller w/ 1.2Liters of water strapped in was like walking a rabid stray dog. The winds were crazy, the road was uneven and bumpy, and he umbrella was no use. After just making a few steps from the store I was already soaking wet and so was the stroller.

I got home safe but completely drenched and tired. I took another bath and resumed doing what good mothers do.

You can probably guess that thunderstorm experience didn't make me feel any better. I guess I'm pretty lucky though because I didn't end up dying from a lightining strike, falling trees or electric posts or something.

I know that life's not always happy. It's just that today is one of those days when I get a hard slap on the face and shake all the optimism out of my soul. The experience could have been funny on any other day, but I was already feeling like shit so I couldn't really laugh about it now. I usually love it when it rains, but no, not today.

I need to unwind, badly. We all do. Sometimes.




Ps.
Exactly a month from now, it's August 1, our 2nd wedding anniversary. I wonder what will happen.