Touch Me Not

My baby has a life of its own and needless to say at this point she's still inside me. Well I think it's about time I made something clear. Sometimes it seems impolite for just anyone touch my belly if I don't like to be touched. It's still me and my sensitive shallow innie belly button and it drives me crazy to be rubbed just by anyone. This has happened a lot of times already since I started "to show". The first few times were okay and I actually loved it every time people noticed how pregnant I looked. But now that my skin feels like it's stretched to the limits, it's very sensitive to touch and it's annoying whenever an unwelcome hand rubs my midsection without my consent. I understand that people think a humongous pregnant stomach is cute but let me tell you--it's doesn't feel too cute to that poor pregnant person.

Sometimes though, it is forgivable. I don't know. Pregnant women are just cranky sometimes. :P

THE VERDICT

I'm so excited!

Thank God (if) It's Thursday

I want it to be Thursday. This week I'm officially 24 weeks pregnant and Jai and I still have no idea if I'm carrying a boy or girl. On Thursday we intend to find out. We wanna find out. BADLY.

But I have to admit that I'm quite frustrated with these prenatal check ups. I've been going to my OB-GYN once a month for the past 5 months but every time we do an ultrasound we just go home clueless and disappointed. We're happy that the baby seems to be in good shape but knowing if it's a HE or SHE is part of the fun of expecting and it just seems that we're short of luck on that department.

The SM 3-Day Sale ended yesterday. I wanted to brave the traffic jam and the crowd to look around for baby things but I still chose not to go. What's the point? I'm not even sure what to fill the cart with. Pink or blue? Flowers or plaids? I just wasn't up to it.

I'm very frustrated.

The last time we tried to figure out what the baby was, the umbilical cord was between his/her legs so it was TOTALLY impossible to tell what was hiding under there. The ultrasound technician tried different angles to get a good shot but it was useless, not to mention getting more and more painful on my part. No matter how hard the pressure she exerts on my tummy, we never got a chance to get a clear view of baby's package.

On the way home I was feeling a bit sad. At that point I envied all the other mommies in the world who talk to their babies by their name of choice. My husband admitted he was disappointed too, and promised that he wouldn't expect anything the next time I have my checkup.

So on Thursday I'm not expecting anything either. I want to find out, but I'm not keeping my hopes up. If heaven forbids that we know I'll be more than happy. Sure, to learn that I'm carrying a healthy baby is more important than anything else, but like I said, finding out the sex is part of the excitement pregnancy brings to expecting parents. Oh there it goes again. The key word. EXPECTING.

How much longer should we expect?

Antepartum Agenda

Things I want to do/achieve before I give birth in February 2010:

1. Buy a one-piece maternity swimsuit and go swimming. Beach or pool--it doesn't matter.

2. Spend a few nights in a hotel out of town in December with my husband. My mom promised us this trip. It was supposed to be my birthday present.

3. Confirm my baby's sex.

4. Buy baby's stuff. Formula, crib, clothes, bottles, toys, you name it... Maybe I'll throw in a breast pump too.

5. Complete the Our Lady of Perpetual Help novena.

6. E-mail my dad a 4D photo of the baby.

7. Reach the highest possible level at Café World.

8. Survive the Braxton Hicks contractions.

9. Determine where to give birth.

10. Pack stuff to take to the hospital.

11. Learn how to cook a couple of new recipes.

12. Find a new place to work as a nurse.

... I'm leaving this list hanging for future edits.

2rning 22

At around 3 in the morning my husband asked me how it feels like to turn 22. I responded with a shrug and a simple "Wala lang."

I don't feel a year older. I feel a LOT heavier though (I have the baby to thank for that). Sure, sometimes I notice new fine lines on my face but I don't think I look much different than I was 2 or 3 years ago.

What I do think has changed is everything else but me. I feel like my life has turned 360 and I'm just standing in the center of it, unmoved. In the aspect of maturity however, I'm not even sure if I've changed for the better. I guess I'll just have to leave that question to the rest of the world.

So how did the big day go?

I was wide awake in the darkness of a school gym when the clock 12 struck twelve and signaled the beginning of October 8th. Myself, my husband, and the rest of my Maranan family attended an occasion as the ever so loyal supporters of my cousin who competed in a beauty pageant last night. Much to our happiness, my cousin won the beauty title and I must say it made the literal start of my birthday extra special.

Pictures were taken, congratulations and thanks were exchanged, and before the janitors could close up shop, we retreated homeward. The embarrassing power-interrupted beauty contest was finally over and done.

Jai and I decided to spend the night at my family's house. It's what I've always wanted--to spend my birthday with the ones who are dearly close to my heart, my family. This afternoon my mom and I had a pedicure, then she treated us to a late lunch at the mall, we shopped for some groceries and then dropped by my grandparents' house before going separate ways home. And you know what, all this may sound so simple but I mean it when I say that I've just had a very happy birthday.

Well there is one thing. I guess it could only be more special if my dad was here with us. He's overseas and all he could do was make a call this morning, but I, of course, understand more than anyone else in the world. He's a very loving and responsible father, and aside from being thankful that I've just had a happy birthday, I'm relieved to know that he's just fine. That's worth more than any material birthday gift.

The day is about to end and here I am, sitting in front of the laptop, enjoying instant noodles and donuts with my husband, remembering what happened today and all the days before this. It's days like this that makes one really appreciate life and how far one has come.

And so far, I think I haven't done so bad. :)

Tiny Bits and Pieces

I've been playing Cafe World for hours and I'm bored out of my mind. Jai and I are supposed to be heading somewhere but we're not getting the call we've been waiting for. So while we all wait for the world to turn a little faster, here's few bite sized chunks of my life you can sink your teeth into:

1. Cafe World at Facebook is addicting but it's hard moving up the game.

2. I hate how my hair looks. This is just one of the downsides of being pregnant--no trips to the hair salon 'til I pop this baby out but even then I still have to wait a couple of months so the baby won't smell the stench of chemicals that linger for days. So much for not being losyang.

3. I have an insatiable craving for turon. I could eat it all day.

4. I'm anxious about the Braxton Hicks contractions. They're false labor contractions and I'm supposed to start feeling them any time soon.

5. I'm turning 22 on Thursday. I intend to do nothing about it. There's nothing planned except a sleep over at my family's house tomorrow night. There's not even a dinner date or anything like that. I'm just thankful for a lot of things, and being happy and healthy is all that matters to me.

Tweeting Hippo

Today I feel like a clumsy elephant. Enormous and all over the place.

That was my last tweet before I started typing this blog entry. After a cool refreshing bath this morning I put on a very loose fitting shirt, gray leggings and white flip flops coz didn't really feel like dressing up today.

By noon I was feeling like a large mammal escaped from the zoo. Say, a hippo.

When Jai and I got home I quickly changed into a long body hugging shirt, my maternity jean shorts and white gladiator sandals. Looking at myself I released a sigh of relief and felt much better. I felt like my old self again, style conscious and kikay.

I'm not picky when it comes to my clothes. I don't even like buying signature/branded ones. I appreciate those kind of gifts but buying them myself? No thanks. I buy and wear anything that suits me right, whatever the price.

My relatives say I shouldn't be wearing body fit tops but in my opinion it's the perfect way to express how proud I am of my baby bump and my new womanly curves! Relatives and friends have been giving me hand-me-down maternity clothing and don't get me wrong, I appreciate the gesture and I like wearing them, but sometimes I just wanna embrace my pregnant figure and just let my round belly show.

Now that's more like it!

20-21 weeks AOG, 09.30.09

I have my lazy days when I don't wanna wear any make-up and just put on anything I could grab from my closet, but once I see the melasma stricken face with a hippo's body in the mirror I make a U-turn and run back to the closet. The last thing I want to overhear is, "Ano ba yan, nabuntis lang, nalosyang na." I think pregnant women should always look their best no matter what occasion. We should be looking like we're carrying a human being in our womb ladies, not a blood sucking parasite!

I'm just not sure if all this could be applicable to the extremely difficult last weeks of the third trimester. Lol

Halfway There

I'm currently 20-21 weeks preggers and things are slowing down a bit. The growth of the baby is at a slower but sure-as-ever pace and my tummy isn't dramatically changing much in size lately. So what's new? The dreaded stretch marks have arrived and so has the melasma. Those two aren't really a pleasant tandem but nature has its special way of mocking pregnant women so they come around the same time. Most pregnant women love having this rather unpleasant change in complexion as they think it's the "pregnancy badge". However, I think after 9 months of carrying this wonderchild a destroyed hooha is enough of a badge to signify motherhood, thank you!